CWCki - New pages [en]

Kacey Call 1.5

2012-05-10T01:38:39Z

Interrobang: /* External links */ line break

In '''Kacey Call 1.5,''' recorded in [[August 2009]] in the midst of the Liquid saga, [[Chris]] attempts to maintain his impersonation of [[Liquid Chris]] in a conversation with [[Kacey]]. This call was released on 9 [[May 2012]] after being misplaced by [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]].

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Heyyyyy, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kace!
 '''Kacey:''' What's up?
 '''Chris:''' How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm great, how bout you?
 '''Chris:''' I'm okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I got your email and, um, I emailed [[Emily]] and, um, so yeah I'm waiting to hear back from her... er, [[Kim]]?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Emily, you meant to say Kim right?
 '''Kacey:''' I meant to say Kim, I know you told me about Emily, sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Ye... yeah, I think I recall this.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I'm new to all this, so I'm sorry I'm gonna get them mixed up. I'm surprised I didn't call her [[Megan]], or Kate.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Whatever... Anyway, uh, so what else is going on?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just calling because I'm supposed to be coming down tomorrow, um, I hope my car makes it.
 '''Chris:''' Yea I hear ya so [''inaudible because Kacey interrupts''] my parents are looking forward to meeting you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh awesome, awesome, so do you know anything about cars? Like maybe you could tell me what's wrong with it maybe?
 '''Chris:''' Uhmmm yea I don't know much about cars, but you can go on the Internet, I heard about this radio show called cartalk you could probably find some tips on there.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that's awesome thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Yea you know cartalk, it's also the uh radio show that did the, uh, TV show on PBS that was called uh, ''[[Wikipedia:Click and Clack's As the Wrench Turns|As The Wrench Turns]]''.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, cool. Um so anyway I'm just wanted to call you cause like I'm actually really upset right now.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, what's the matter?
 '''Kacey:''' Did you see that fucking impostor video? He's trying to apologize like I wonder if he did that because I told him to in my judging but I mean just he just pisses me off I mean his fucking voice, the way he looks, his hair, just the way he tries to be you just... ugh his fat fucking face! God! I mean doesn't I know he pisses you off I just...I hate it when people mess with you 'cause you know I love you so much!
 '''Chris:''' Yea I'm just checking though... yea I think you told me you love me when you saw my artwork on the Internet, right?
 '''Kacey:''' It was totally, totally absolutely [[Sonichu]], I mean, and we just gotten so close lately that if anyone tried to tear us apart from each other I'd probably die from heartbreak.
 '''Chris:''' Awww... I'm sorry to hear that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh well that's just how much I love you.
 '''Chris:''' I feel for you... I can uh... I can elate [''sic''] with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Right... so but I mean what do you feel about it? I mean I know he really pisses you off. I mean... how much do you hate him, because I mean if I hate him after all these things, you've got to have tons to hate about him.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmmm yea well I mean you know uh... I mean I'm pretty much out of hate, I've got tired of hating, you know so I just figured I'd just flow with it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oof... so I I mean guess you're giving him a chance? Because of all this but I mean you just told me the other day that he has a [[homosexual]] lisp that he probably takes it up the butt from [[niggos|black guys]].
 '''Chris:''' Uh... that's just... I can tell you right now that's just a whole bunch of lies that someone put on the [[ED]] page against me.
 '''Kacey:''' What? There's no ED page against you, that's the impostor! What are you talking about? Oh you must you must be tired from finals and everything coming up but I mean... this... God it's like I don't know you were just saying this stuff the other day and...come on this guy, he tried to disqualify you from something stupid he didn't even look at your video, I know he didn't look at your video, I mean but he can put stupid things like parappa rap in his thing and not be disqualified? fuck that shit! oh, sorry for me cursing
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yea.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, come on, Chris, don't you have any opinion?
 [''inaudible - speaking over each other'']
 '''Chris:''' Yea but it's like you know... yea... I kind of grew up emotionally a bit more the past few days
 '''Kacey:''' Oh okay so you're trying to take the I'm the bigger guy route
 '''Chris:''' Yea... I am pretty much the uh... I'm pretty much the big man, and I realize that as such, and like you know with my own trolls I pretty much would thank them for the uh publicist publicity they've given me as well
 '''Kacey:''' Oh like no publicity is bad publicity but I mean uh
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean they have uh
 '''Kacey:''' Well I'm just bit confused because why did you realize all this, I mean what happened?
 '''Chris:''' Yea a lot of things happened, you did get the message I sent you, right?
 '''Kacey:''' The really long email? Yea I mean it was really, really heartfelt, I mean I'm glad that you trust me that much.
 '''Chris:''' You know me, I am definitely truly a heartfelt kind of person
 '''Kacey:''' that's good that's good, um but seriously I really want to talk about this impostor he's really pissing me off, Chris, I mean, come on, support me. I mean, I think... he subscribes to me... I think he is trying to go through me for you. I mean, could you believe that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh I don't know I uh... yea that just sounds that just sounds like a bunch of fooling me eh uh... I've taken a closer look at what he's done, and everything in the past.. hmm... but yea um he's pretty much growing up as well and I have to be respecting that...
 '''Kacey:''' CHRIS HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT DID YOU SEE HIM? DID YOU SEE HIM? He is trying to trick you! He is I mean just look at his room! He is trying to go through me to you! And that hurts me and that makes me angry! Cause I mean... how... who is he to fucking try and get in between us? I mean I love you. YOU are the fucking creator of [[Sonichu]]. YOU are the fucking man. YOU are awesome! I mean and every time you sing a song for me dedicate something to me I know that it's from you. How the fuck can he try to do that?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.... I don't know, a lot of people are smart *sigh*
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think he is. [''Chris tries to say something''] I think he's pretty stupid. I mean look at all his toys. I mean How old is he?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm... I'd say he looks about twenty-seven himself.
 '''Kacey:''' Heh... but I mean just like come on he probably plays videogames all day on his fucking TV, I mean he looks way older than twenty-seven but you know that could just be the [[PSEye]] toy... crappy shit
 '''Chris:''' Well... I do... I will admit the camera adds about a few pounds
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yea, totally hmph
 '''Chris:''' Oh yea my mind's blankin' out of me, I've had a bit of a long day myself you know...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, can I call you later? I promise I'll calm down, just I really want to talk to you let you know maybe we can talk more like last night or something um just he really pisses me off because I mean I don't think he's financially stable and he has these things like the huge TV and the toys and everything and it's like “where are you getting those from?”... [''Chris is making sounds, possibly trying to speak''] oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry hon.
 '''Chris:''' It's okay, I'm here for you, I'll listen to your rants.
 '''Kacey:''' And I totally appreciate that.
 '''Chris:''' I'll listen to your rants with an open mind
 '''Kacey:''' Well then good because I have so much because he really, really, really pisses me off imean just and this whole singing challenge like he has a fucking choice I mean I want you to do this with me you gotta do it for me I need to feel supported by you and I mean you were doing it last night so what's the difference now? You gotta win! this guy is coming after you for no reason just because he wants your efame or whatever he thinks.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you've gotta be out for blood chris because he is. I mean and you know I don't always condone it but I think he's trying things that he shouldn't and I mean don't you wanna protect me if he is trying to get to me through you? You don't love me that much?
 '''Chris:''' I do- I do care about you very much and I am.
 '''Kacey:''' OH NO CHRIS DO YOU LOVE ME THAT MUCH?
 '''Chris:''' I love you that much
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you've gotta do something!
 '''Chris:''' I am going to do something. I will protect you. I'm going to protect you from all the lies and deceit that there...
 '''Kacey:''' FINE! Then tell me something you hate about him right now. Do something right now! Cause you need to show him now. Knock him off a few pegs.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yea I'll uh
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video! Do something!
 '''Chris:''' Yea I'll make a video I'll uh... I'll give him a little bit of a hate moment... yea.
 '''Kacey:''' Good! I want you to give him a huge hate moment! Fucking pig he doesn't even look like he takes a shower!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' So yea gather your thoughts and make me a video and that will just make all the anger go away... that will be so awesome, thank you.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya, and I'll listen to ya always
 '''Kacey:''' I'm so sorry you had to see such a ugly side of me, but I mean when it comes to you I would protect you from everything, and I know you would do the same for me
 '''Chris:''' It's all right, I understand. But anyway yea uh definitely uh talk to Kim, learn more about uh you know everything about him, his history [''inaudible because Kacey interrupts''] okay!
 Chris- all the details
 '''Kacey:''' No, I'll definitely talk to her and um I'll call you later tonight if that's okay *giggle*
 '''Chris:''' of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome! Okay well I'm going to go let you seek and gather your thoughts and make me that awesome video! Give me it [''Chris trying to say something''] Cause I want to see it soon! I'm so excited!
 '''Chris:''' All right, Kacey-heart. I will.
 '''Kacey:''' All right, I love you so much! Bye!
 '''Chris:''' I love you too. Bye bye.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 1]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 2]]}}

==External links==
[https://rapidshare.com/#!download|606p6|983673136|kacey280309.mp3|10539|R~0218B77569CB5D113E8305404B2BAD68|0|0 mp3 of phonecall]
 [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paZaDoXbZMw| YouTube video of call]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

June 2012

2012-05-09T14:25:20Z

Slimz: Page created

Tune in next month, something is bound to happen.

May 2012

2012-05-01T20:02:29Z

The Zookeeper:

[[File:Chris FB Profile PIc (May 8th,2012).png|thumb|Chris in May 2012 (See also: [[wikipedia:Norman Bates |Norman Bates]], who also became his [[Barb|mother]]).]]

'''May [[2012]]''' kicked off with [[Chris]]' tentative return to the internet amidst more of his egotistical shenanigans. These were primarily centered around his apparent victory over the trolls. "Tricking" them by announcing the return of the [[attraction sign]] at the mall and then figuring he would rather stay home playing [[vidya]], has fueled the fires of his ego to the point of no return. It is worth noting that this month may be one of Chris' last before he is incarcerated following the events of [[28 October 2011]] if he is found guilty.

==Events==
[[Image:133627232947.png|thumb|left|Drawing of [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[Image:=3.jpg|thumb|right| Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler: master of proportions. Note: [[Julay|People are watching them.]]]]
* 1 May: Chris posts another [[Facebook]] note, still gloating over him tricking the trolls over him being in the mall and reaffirms that he indeed lost his virginity, with an even stronger hint that it was a prostitute.
* 3 May: Chris changes his voicemail greetings, probably because the previous one sounded too [[Autistic |threatening]].
* 5 May: Chris posts a Facebook note in which he calls on the trolls to leave [[Anna]] alone and also says that he does see his mother in her. Additionally, an old drawing of Wallflower is released.
* 6 May: A previously unseen drawing of Chris and [[Jackie]] having sex in a pool is released and Chris changes his voicemail message once again.
[[File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png|thumb| Chris claiming to have personal info of [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]]]]
* 8 May: Chris changes his Facebook profile picture.
* 9 May: A misplaced call between Chris and Kacey is released.
* 12 May: Chris writes a new note on Facebook about Mimms in an attempt to get people to annoy him, he then deletes the note minutes later.
* 13 May: Eight old photographs of Chris are released, five from 11 [[November 2010]] and three from 1 March 2011. Notable features include the last known wearing of a [[Medallion]], Chris's nasty [[hair]] and a proto-[[Tomgirl]] look.
* 15 May: Chris posts more screenshots of the CWCKI forums.
{{collapsible
|The May 2012 Pictures
|<center>
<gallery>
File:133696094632.jpg|November picture 1
File:FZvAO.jpg|November picture 2
File:ZpkM1.jpg|November picture 3
File:ADlEp.jpg|November picture 4
File:VzDUm.jpg|November picture 5
File:RoD3b.jpg|March picture 1, featuring tomgirl chris.
File:ZyK7a.jpg|March picture 2
File:IiL3P.jpg|March picture 3
</gallery>
</center>
}}
{{Timeline}}

Respect

2012-04-29T22:19:12Z

Eamoo: Created page with "{{dab}} '''Respect''' may refer: *Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC *Scale of Respect"

{{dab}}
'''Respect''' may refer:
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]
*[[Scale of Respect]]

Chris and contests

2012-04-09T17:47:08Z

NegaCWC: /* Sources */ No need for this article to be in the "Chris" category as it is already in one of that category's subcategories

Since winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] Chris has entered a number of '''contests'''.

==Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes==
:''Main article: [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]''
The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]''.

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 [[wikipedia:KB_Toys|Kay-Bee Toys]] shopping spree — was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]].

==Harvey Birdman Commercial==
:''Main article: [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]''
{{Infobox/video
| name = Harvey Birdman Commercial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l_b7S4i99JI}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2005]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}; Contest
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl]]
| next = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
}}

In February 2005, Cartoon Network held a contest inviting viewers to make a commercial for the Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law Vol. 1 DVD set. Chris did not win the contest, or even place in the top five. This inspired him to post a complaint on the [[Adult Swim forums]].

=="What would you do for a PS3?" contest==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pixelated PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_PYyrmtbLTw}}
| stardate = 28 [[November 2006]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
| next = [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Watch|Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]}}

In November 2006, Chris entered [[Adult Swim]]'s "What would you do for a PS3?" contest. In his entry video, Chris says he'd throw away the cure for autism, if he had it, would trade in his PS2, and would make a PS3 out of [[Pixelbocks]], and shows off his [[Pixelated PS3]]. Needless to say, Chris did not win the PS3.

==PaRappa the Rapper contest==
:''Main article: [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered the PaRappa the Rapper Contest, which required contestants to film themselves performing either Chop Chop Master Onion's rap, Instructor Mooselini's rap or Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken's rap a capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two [[PSP]]s and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo. Chris hoped that he would win, so that he could bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved [[Megan Schroeder]] and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to give in to her obvious passion for him.

Chris's video made it into the top 10, from which the winner was to be selected from a vote by PlayStation Underground members in July 2007. Despite a campaign on the part of Chris, the competition was won by [[Adam Stackhouse]], whom Chris bears a grudge against as he felt Adam broke the rules<ref>[[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 12:59 — Last Day to VOTE, Rappers!|PSN blog, 31 July 2007]]</ref> by having music and multiple people in his entry. Chris loathed the 2nd and 3rd place winners for having music as well. In actuality, the beatboxing in Adam's video counts as ''a cappella''. Furthermore, another top 10 finalist claimed that he had removed his own music to avoid breaking the rules, but [[Sony]] said it was fine.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWwfRqMZ6QE Momo :: Chop Chop Master Onion Showdown (w/music)] video on [[YouTube]]</ref>

Relentless vote stuffing did earn Chris a reward, however. The rules state that finalists would "...get their Submissions published on PlayStation.com, and will receive a copy of the game PaRappa the Rapper for the PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and some PaRappa branded premium items such as a PSP skin, PSP charm, and a PaRappa signature beanie (ARV $60)."

==Radio station contests==
After winning a gift certificate from a radio station, some time in his early 20's, chris created [[Li'l Chris]] at the "Create-A-Critter Workshop"<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(18_December_2008)</ref>

In May 2010, Chris won four tickets to an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show from a radio call-in contest. As he could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple". This event prompted the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.

==GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes==
[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|This image was apparently worth $400.]]
Chris entered the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] in October 2008. The competition required entrants to send in a photograph of themselves in a "guitar hero pose", for the chance to win a $400 GameStop gift certificate.

Several [[trolls]] caught sight of Chris's entry and, mistakenly believing that the person with the most votes would star in the ''Guitar Hero'' game, and encouraged people to vote for Chris. Due to this Chris went on to win the competition.

==Jackass 3D Contest==
:''Main article: [[Cwcsicle]]''
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Frozen Stalagtite RECUT
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mskavdOJJTs}}
| Stardate = 3 [[March 2011]]
| Maker = shadupp
| Video Type = Parody
}}
In February 2010, Chris entered a contest for the movie Jackass 3D, in which the person who submitted the best prank would get to appear in ''Jackass 3D''. Needless to say, Chris did not win, as he violated the rules by sticking his [[duck|penis]] in the snow for fifteen minutes, when ''Jackass''-style pranks were forbidden, and contests were supposed to send in plans or sketches.<ref>http://jackass-3d-contest.wonderhowto.com/blog/jackass-3d-prank-contest-0118504/</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

PlayStation Vita

2012-03-16T15:32:40Z

BlueChan:

{{taxpayermoney}}
Chris got a '''[[wikipedia:PlayStation Vita|PlayStation Vita]]''', successor to the [[PSP of Fail|PSP]], two days after its American release, on his 30th [[birthday]], 24 [[February 2012]]. It also brought his biggest spending splurge for quite some time, as in the weeks after, seventeen new games appeared on his PSN account. This suggests that he spent $470.83 on games alone, and with Vita going for $299.99, Chris spent $770.82 (plus tax) at the very least, proving that, with [[Bob]] dead, the [[tugboat]] is Chris's to waste as he pleases.

Chris bought (all prices are estimates):
*''Army Corps of Hell'': $39.99
*''Dungeon Hunter: Alliance'': $35.99
*''Escape Plan'': $14.99
*''Little [[DeviantArt|Deviants]]'': $29.99
*''Lumines Electronic Symphony'': $35.99
*''[[ModNation Racers]]: [[Ohio trip|Road Trip]]'': $29.99
*''MotorStorm: RC'': $9.99
*''Plants vs. Zombies'': $14.99
*''Rayman Origins'': $39.99
*''[[Chris and reality|Reality]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|Fighters]]'': $29.99
*''Sumioni'': $19.99
*''Super Stardust Delta'': $9.99
*''Tales from Space: [[Obesity|Mutant Blobs]] Attack'': $7.99
*''[[Homos|Touch My Katamari]]'': $29.99
*''Uncharted: Golden Abyss'': $44.99
*''Unit 13'': $35.99
*''WipEout 2048'': $39.99

Of course, Chris may have availed of multibuy discounts, download-only discounts, and probably got one of these games free with the Vita. Against that, it's very likely that he also shelled out for memory card(s), a carry case, DLC, other games that we haven't seen on PSN yet, etc.

==See also==
*[[PSP of Fail]]
*[[PS3]]
*[[Sony]]
*[[Chris and money]]
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Cheerleader

2012-02-25T18:31:11Z

Apostrophe: add

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie (or "Jacjie"), wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]].

For reasons unknown, the video is sped up, although this fails to make the process of viewing it any less drawn-out or excruciating.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xQzUIZv4Xls}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[The whole video is visibly sped up in editing, although not the audio]''

''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! [[Kick the Autistic|Kick 'em in the knee!]] Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

[[I_AM_STRONG|Just a little warm up!]]

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

[[Honor_roll|J! A! C! J! I! E!]] Jackie! Who's that girl who can't be beat? [[Jackie|Jackie! Jackie!]] Who's that girl [[Chris and English|who-- she's so sweet!]] Jackie! Jackie!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Teenage Dream

2012-02-25T18:26:25Z

Chaosakita:

{{Honest}}

'''Teenage Dream''' is an audio file of Chris singing [[Wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]]'s song "[[Wikipedia:Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song)|Teenage Dream]]", leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. In typical Chris style, he sings tunelessly over the original song, rather than finding a karaoke version.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Teenage Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRaX8cMkjjc}}
| stardate =
| subject = {{Music}}
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
You think I'm pretty 
Without any [[Tomgirl|make-up]] on 
You think I'm [[Random-access humor|funny]] 
When I tell the [[Punchy Sonichu|puch]] line wrong 
I know you get me 
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me 
[[Lie|I was alright]] 
But things were kinda [[Obesity|heavy]] 
You brought me to life 
Now every February 
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight 
No regrets, just [[Chris and Sex|love]] 
We can dance until we [[Chris and Death|die]] 
You and I 
We'll be young forever

You make me 
Feel like 
I'm living a Teenage Dream 
The way you [[April 16 Fetish Vids|turn me on]] 
[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]] 
Let's [[Sonichu's Edge|run away]] 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever look back

My [[Heart level|heart]] stops 
When you look at me 
Just one touch 
Now baby I believe 
[[Chris and Reality|This is real]] 
So take a chance 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali 
And got drunk on the beach 
Got a motel and 
Built a floor out of sheets 
I finally found you 
My missing [[Autism|puzzle piece]] 
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight 
No regrets, just love 
We can dance until we die 
You and I 
We'll be young forever

You make me 
Feel like 
I'm living a Teenage Dream 
The way you turn me on 
[[Biological clock|I can't sleep]] 
Let's run away 
And don't ever look back 
Don't ever-(Video Cuts off)

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Forgot the Glitter

2012-02-25T18:20:49Z

WithWinComesLoss: Minor pipe.

{{Honest}}

'''Forgot the Glitter''' (leaked as ''vjtuevvjkdufkbjtdv [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video made on 14 [[July 2011]] and leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which a distressed Chris performs a jiggle-dance, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6WLEi4dQGc inspired by a viral video], in the changing room of a [[Walmart]] for [[Jackie]]. Originally a performance intended to be taped in the store's aisles, Chris had to settle for humiliating himself privately in the fitting rooms due to the fact that the store was busier than he had anticipated.

[[Chris]], dressed in his jean skirt appears trying on a brand new red tank top with a price tag still attached to it. The tank top looks way too small for him, suggesting that even if [[Chris]] were to [[Fashion|buy new clothes]] they would still look as if he had had them since he was twelve years old. After a short disclaimer he starts wobbling his fat rolls back and forth while uttering nonsense for almost two minutes. In the course of the video, he lifts his skirt to reveal the [[tomgirl|Transgender]] symbol inscribed on his left ass cheek, which he calls his "[[cutie mark]]". It appears to be drawn on with Crayola magic marker. This is a rather curious choice of body art given Chris's continual derision of gay men, as the transgender symbol is traditionally associated with the [[Homos|LGBT community]]. After nearly half a minute of mooning his audience [[Chris]] finally pulls his skirt back down to reveal that he has decorated it with the letters "[[Jackie|J.PIE]]", because nothings says "I love you" to a girl quite like spelling her name with silver spangle on your skirt.

Interesting to note is Chris's discomfort in performing such a bizarre request, a reluctance that, while healthy and expected of a [[Autism|sane individual]], has been absent in Chris's [[Love Quest|pursuit]] of appeasing a sweetheart until now. However, the completed video further illustrates that when [[china]] is involved, "dignity" is not a word in Chris's vocabulary.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Forgot the Glitter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wRD1EBmaRx4}}
| stardate = 14 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex}}
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Red tank top
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[We see Chris in his tomgirl get up, bent over to talk to the camera in a change room in Wal-Mart.]''

I ain't gonna do it, I'm sorry Jackie, but I'm not gonna be able to do it in the aisles today. More crowded than I thought...

What the Hell is going on with that light?

Anyway, mmmm. Enjoy the two minutes in the dressing room here.

''[Chris begins to shake his body]''

Walla walla Walmart Walla walla Walmart, Walla walla walla walla walla Walmart walla walla

''[Chris lifts up his mini skirt showing his unholy taint. He then begins to shake it in front of the camera.]''

Walla walla Walmart walla walla walla walla Walmart

Deh deh deh deh deh deh walla walla Walmart

walla walla Walmart walla walla Walmart shake that, walla walla Walmart

''[Puts his skirt down and continues dancing.]''

Walla walla walla walla walla, walla walla walla, walla walla Walmart

Walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla walla

Check your progress, check your progress, walla walla Walmart

''[Chris, now clearly exhausted, attempts to continue dancing but gives up.]''

Oh! the things I do for love, and I forgot the glitter.

([[Stress Sigh|sigh]]) Jackie I'll progress. Check my progress.
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Who's Your Brony?

2012-02-25T18:08:17Z

Sonijew is back:

{{Honest}}

'''Who's Your Brony?''' is a pair of videos ('''gvfioeqnguvfieqrav (1)''' and '''hcyrejetuikyfdfmynbgr (2)''') made on 12 [[July 2011]] and leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris has sex with the [[Jackie]] sex doll while saying "Who's your [[My Little Pony|Brony]]?" The video is similar in concept to [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], but is notably less horrifying because Chris stays clothed. He then proceeds to display his "[[cutie mark]]".

==Videos==
===Sexy time===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p23-_rWJ2Ag}}
| stardate = 12 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====
Okie-dokie. For you, Jackie-pie, I show you my [[cutie mark]] on my better... mini-skirt.

''[Turns around, although nothing is visible because Chris' fat ass is too close to the camera.]''

There's a guitar and a TG for Tom Girl, and a puzzle piece for autism! I has these, I had these put here for weeks! So I pretty much was one step ahead of ya there.

And now, pretend sex.

''[Chris proceeds to hump the blowup doll in what would be considered a "scissoring" position.]''

Yeah. Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Whooo's your brony? Yeah, Jackie! Who's your brony? C'mon, you take it from your. C'mon, Jackie Pie, you take it from your Apple Chris!

All day long, ''(mumbling)''

''[Chris switches to doggy-style position.]''

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie?

Who's your brony? Who's your brony? Who's your brony? I'm your brony, Jackie-Pie! I'll be your brony all day long!

''[Chris switches positions. He is now standing and humping the doll around his waist.]''

Who's your brony? I'm your brony,

Who's your brony? I'm your brony, and you know it

''[Chris switches positions. He is now siting and humping the doll in his lap.]''

Who's your brony, Jackie-Pie? Jackie-Pie, Jackie-Pie. Ah, Jack-Jackie-Pie.

''[Chris fakes an orgasm.]''

Uh, Yeah, Yeah.

'''UUUUGH!''' Delicious!

===Tat Ass===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Who's Your Brony? 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N1r6lyA5kaI}}
| stardate = 12 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====
Woopsie-doodles! I forgot to do the other favor.

[''Chris proceeds to shove his ass in the direction of the camera and lift his skirt''.]

Hope that's good enough! Thank you very much, I love you, Jackie pie!

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Cakefarts

2012-02-25T17:13:25Z

The Zookeeper:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Honest}}
{{quote|Heeey Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.|Chris.}}
'''Cakefarts''' (leaked as ''fyfdriryjehvsdthyjvdj.mp4 [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video made on 18 [[July 2011]] and leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris sits his naked ass on a [[Chris and money|$9]] [[Obesity|chocolate cake]] for [[Jackie]]'s amusement. While it can not be seen on the censored version, there is already a piece (a little less than a fourth) of the cake taken out, meaning that either Chris (or Barb) had eaten some of this cake before its untimely end. It was inspired by the [http://www.cakefarts.com Cakefarts] shock site.
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cakefarts
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1heDIzvEPl0}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

{{quote|What the hell am I doing?}}

=== Transcript ===

Heeey Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.

''[Chris proceeds to finger the cake, followed by licking his digit]''

Mmm. Let's get this done.

''Chris has the words [[Random-access humor|"AWESOME SAUCE"]] written in barely legible script on his ass. One of the S's is the wrong way around, and there is scribbled out attempt at writing the word awesome.''

Awesome... Sauce... There it is: Sauce. Ass dance! ass dance! See me do the ass dance. Do wacka do. [[Random-access humor|Shake my funky monkey ass]]give me beans I'll give you gas

''[Chris flails about like a retard in order to make his deformed [[duck|dick]] jiggle]''

Let's do this.

''[Performs the act for which the video is named, in turn getting an erection]''

What the hell am I doing here? ''[Finishes smearing ass with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|chocolate cake]]]'' What the hell am I doing? I paid nine American dollar for this cake. That's a lotta yen. Kawaii! Bye, Japan.

==External Links==

[http://imageshack.us/clip/my-videos/36/rsv.mp4/ Uncensored version]

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature]]

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-02-25T16:59:50Z

IThrewTheFrisbee: /* Transcript */

[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris and [[Jackie]], here represented by a sex doll, leaked on 24 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get some [[McDonald's]], eating it and then making out with the doll in his front yard, and Chris's attempt at re-enacting a viral video in a dressing room at the [[Ruckersville]] [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wRjc2Qg-3Y music video]</ref>

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]'', and data suggests that they were recorded on 11 [[July 2011]].

==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7dDfqaMMWxI}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jackie," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yKikDhuOE00}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jackie and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun, you know, in the car-- and sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. Very very good. Yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BZCxX-VvEjU}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating & [[sex]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car, which is parked on his lawn. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].]''
Okay, so Jackie and I, we're here at the McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, after-- and we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris grabs the doll by the breast and moves it as a child would when making a toy speak and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jackie is talking]].]''

''[As Jackie]'' It was really, really tasty, yes it was. And even better... ''[Unintelligible]''...and I enjoyed it.

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jackie-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jackie]'' I say we make out. And then see where it goes from there.

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jackie" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the "public parking lot of a McDonald's". He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "[[Wikipedia:California Gurls|California Gurls]]" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jackie's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off, and rushes to the camera.]''

God, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y1njcaeYmSs}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

Here we go.

[''Immediately starts humping the sex doll while making high-pitched moaning sounds'']

[''after 10 seconds, he turns the sex doll around into the doggy-style position before it goes off-camera, the blow-up doll going head first into his mold-coated bathtub.]

[''Resumes shrill, sexual moans that sound like a whimpering dog while thrusting the doll's behind.'']

[''Continues moaning suggestively'']

Yeah!

[''Moans some more. He pauses to reach over to something (water):'']

Whoopie! [''tosses water into the air as if "Jackie" climaxes & squirts everywhere.'']

[''Sighs of relief, wipes shirt on face from the [[Chris and Health|intensity]] and to remove Jackie-Pie's "cum" before turning the camera off'']

==References==
<references/>
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Little Tomboy Blue

2012-02-25T16:47:48Z

ShotgunJones: replaced dead mediafire link with imageshack link

{{Honest}}

'''Little Tomboy Blue''' (leaked as '''urqehgvuierg''') is a horrifying video of [[Chris]] stripping for his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]] to musical accompaniment, leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

Chris, in full [[tomgirl]] garb, uses his [[PS3]] to play "[[Wikipedia:Fuck the Pain Away|Fuck the Pain Away]]" by electroclash artist [[Wikipedia:Peaches (musician)|Peaches]] as he poorly imitates traditional stripper mannerisms. Interspersed in the actual song are his made-up lyrics, mostly nonsensical exclamations of his tomgirl pride. As the video progresses, Chris sheds more and more of his clothing, eventually revealing his [[muscle bra]] and panties, with his abdominal flab spilling over the waistline. At points in the video, Chris turns his backside toward the camera and pulls down the panties to jiggle his fat ass. Toward the end, Chris removes his bra and slowly massages his nipples while repeatedly uttering the song's final chorus, thus ensuring that all of our recurring nightmares are replaced by Stripping Chris himself.

It is unknown whether or not Jackie explicitly requested this video, or Chris taped it as a spontaneous "gift". However, unaware that most strippers are not only [[obesity|thin]] but also [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], Chris's hamfisted attempt at impressing Jackie instead comes across as thoroughly disgusting and creepy. Many [[Relics of Fail]] are visible in this video, including several [[Sonichu]] cutouts, and the original [[Attraction Sign]] from 2003, which, evidently, Chris has found important enough to have kept taped to his wall almost nine years later.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Little Tomboy Blue
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Dada-uqoDUY}}
| stardate =
| subject = Strip tease
| style = {{Comedy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue/navy tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
Little Tomboy Blue? Come blow my [[duck|horn]].

''[Chris begins to perform an awkward dance to "Fuck the Pain Away". He reaches over to grab an unidentifiable object, a substitute for a stripper’s pole, and attempts to entice the audience with a more suggestive dance. In usual Chris fashion, he begins to sing.]''
Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my Chrissy behind

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of the [[tomgirl|tomgirls]]! Huh? What?

''[During this time, he begins to raise his shirt up, displaying a taste of the [[Obesity|horrors]] within.]''

''[Forgets the first few words, and stumbles on several lines.]''
... on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my Chrissy behind ''[Slaps his rear.]''

It's fine all of the time

What else is in the teaches of Tomgirls?

Like sex on the beaches, huh? What?

''[At this point, he managed to remove his shirt and now he swings it around as though he were arousing his audience.]''

Huh? Right. What? Uhh...

Huh? What? Right. Uhh...

''[He throws the shirt toward the camera, resuming the painfully long striptease. Following this, he lifts up his sports bra to give an eyeful of one manboob to the world. For a moment or two, he fondles it, giving orgasm faces to the camera. Thankfully, Chris puts the bra back on for the time being.]''

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh

''[He sounds somewhat winded during this bit, and he sets his eyes on a new goal. Rocking his hips, he appears to struggle a tad with his jeans, awkwardly pulling them slightly down before pulling them back up. Eventually, he manages to slip them off and drops them in front of the camera.]''

S.I.S. I.U.D., stay in [[Manchester High School|school]] 'cause it's the best

I.U.D. S.I.S., stay in school 'cause it's the best

I.U.D. S.I.S., stay in school 'cause it's the best

I.U.D. S.I.S., stay in school 'cause it's the best

Sucking' on my titties like you wanted me

Calling me, all the time like Blondie

Check out my Chrissy behind ''[slaps his rear again.]''

It's fine all of the time

Like sex on the beaches

What else is in the teaches of [[tomgirls]]? Huh? What?

''[Horrifically, he begins to thrust his hips more prominently than before. Obviously [[Chris and Health|growing tired]], his hips begin to gyrate, repeatedly flashing the audience his ass. At one point, Chris attempts to lift both legs to waist height. He has to grab them with his arms to accomplish this, and immediately grimaces with the pain of physical effort.]''

[[Fuck Quest|Fuck the pain away]]. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

''[Begins singing the lyrics early.]'' Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Huh? What? Right. Uhh.

Huh? What? Right. Uhh.

''[He is now fondling his manboobs underneath the bra. With his back turned, slowly struggling some, he begins removing his sports bra to display his 42-inch bust to the world.]''

What else in the teaches of tomgirls?

Like sex on the beaches

Huh? What? Right. Uhh.

''[After throwing the [[bra]] toward the camera, he has a delayed reaction with what he was doing, and covers his chest with his arms. Chris then proceeds to squeeze his breasts together for massive cleavage results.]''

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

==External Links==
[http://imageshack.us/clip/my-videos/855/qb9n.mp4/ Uncensored version]
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

You're Always Pretty

2012-02-25T16:31:07Z

Eamoo: /* Transcript */

'''You're Always Pretty''' (leaked as '''hyigybybbhgy.flv''') is the first video [[Barbara|Chris's mother]] has ever appeared in. In the video Chris and Barb solemnly make small talk while eating junk food. Chris throws her some strangely inappropriate compliments, and it is implied that they have been fighting and not speaking to each other, although there is no clear reason as to why (though, according to Chris's [[Facebook_statuses|Facebook page]], it may be because he got caught flipping the bird to a [[Jerkop]].) It is the first of its kind, the most candid look at Chris's mother, who has not yet appeared in his [[YouTube]] videos. The video was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = You're Always Pretty
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aUG3rVfilH4}}
| stardate =
| subject = Food
| style =
| saga = {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Not visible
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Barb and Chris sit at a table eating fast food. Chris has apparently just brought out his camera and set it down. For some reason, Barb is wearing Chris's old pair of [[Pedo-glasses]] with the blue Crayola Model Magic bridge. [[Wikipedia:Tears for Fears|Tears for Fears]]' "[[Wikipedia:Head over Heels (Tears for Fears song)|Head Over Heels]]" plays in the background.'']

'''Chris''': -Oh.

'''Barb''': [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Barb''': You got your digital camera?

'''Chris''': Yeah. Just a little something there, uh ...

'''Barb''': Who- who're you gonna take pictures of?

'''Chris''': Uuh.. Just you...

'''Barb''': Oh.

'''Chris''': 'Cause I love you.

'''Barb''': Oh, okay. [''Laughing'']

'''Chris''': Yeah... [''Pause''] Yeah... So, you having fun tonight? Aaaare we having fun right now?

'''Barb''': I'm eating.

'''Chris''': Mmm'kay. Y'know, you're very pretty. You're ''always'' pretty!

'''Barb''': Thank you... See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, have no fun! Hm?

'''Chris''': What?

'''Barb''': [''Chuckles'']

'''Chris''': Yeah. The shirt I picked out from Goodwill the 'udder day. Yeah. [[Chris and Music|I am free as a bird! And this bird you cannot change!]]

'''Barb''': Enjoy your food.

'''Chris''': Yes- [''turns off camera'']

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

The Red-Maned Deer

2012-02-25T16:23:43Z

Eamoo:

"'''The Red-Maned Deer'''" (leaked as '''fatty_video_-_aug_12_2011''') is a poetry reading Chris did for [[Jackie]] on 12 [[August 2011]]. It was leaked on 25 [[February 2012]]. The poem, which is actually more of a short story that occasionally rhymes, is about Chris stalking a deer and then fucking it. The deer represents Jackie; this was obvious, but Chris feels the need to [[autism|explicitly say this]] at the end. Contrary to those who might think that biology is yet another think Chris fails at, deer are known to grow "manes."<ref>[http://www.mlive.com/news/flint/index.ssf/2009/11/buck_tales_local_woman_bags_bu.html]</ref>

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = The Red-Maned Deer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jLNUncC6Nm8}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Striped tank-top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

Hey sweetheart. As I read-- told you in the email, I wrote you a poem recently. Wrote it in my...

''[Pulls out his 3DS]''

...notebook. So I'm gonna read it to you now. Soon as I get it [the camera] right...

''[Fiddles with the camera's position.]''

Camera adjustment... yeah. Okay. Anyway. "The Red-Maned Deer," from me, written yesterday on the eleventh, came to me when I was waking up.

The Red-Maned Deer is quite an elusive and majestic creatcha ''[sic]'' of any forest of this planet earth...and even of the universe. She gallops with sweet [[Sonichu%27s_Ode_to_Rosechu|grace and style]] in her hooves of twinkling glitter. Her dazzling coat not only keeps her warm, but beautiful with sexy flair.

Her shimmering red mane is long and w-wild and when the beams of sun and moon shine through, it's godlike majestic. She has eyes of green...like a slice of lime. ''[He says lime with a strange accent.]'' Her snout is so cute, like a bunny or a kitten. And her smile and voice, truly cute, and sweet like a newt.

I've dreamt after ''[sic]'' her for months, keeping observation in camouflage. She has an interesting family, including her birth mother and a father a step away. They treat her sadly like a Cinderella, keeping her from seeing her Prince.

Yet the Red-Maned Doe is fully grown, and is very wise and aware of the forest laws. One day, as I followed, to much my surprise, ''[sic]'' she turns her head and looks directly at me! I hid for a short moment, until she spoke in my language very clear: "Come out, come out my dear, my dear watcher. I have been very aware of you all these months. I've watched you as you rested, and dined of the forest fruits, and write, pen to tree skin. Please come closer. Stroke my coat, and mane. Allow me to admire your face, close to mine."

I approached with [[Duck|erect]] elation, her coat smooth as silk, her mane brushing my fingers like a spring breeze. I looked into her eyes, and she to mine. Entranced with her temptation and beauty, I was truly surprised...when she kissed me deep. Damn! And then I kissed her back...and we made truest sweet love.

This was, in fact, NOT an act of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]]. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy ''[pronounces it "Raw-mee"].''

''[Turns the 3DS to the screen.]'' I love you!

''[A few pure, unadulterated seconds of [[the creepy stare]] are interrupted by a terrifying kiss on the camera lens as the video ends.]''

==See also==

*[[An Inspired Poem for Jackie]]
{{References}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-12]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2011-08-12]]

Alex's lemonade stand

2012-02-18T20:24:06Z

Ferret: /* The event */

[[File:Cwcville Helps.png|thumb|"Cwcville Helps", [[February 2012]]]]
{{Quote|I, as a [[Money|charitable]] individual, like helping others, and Children are our future. So, I am participating during the weekend to help the cause to cure cancer in children, so they all can grow into fine, [[Health|healthy adults]].|[[Chris]]|being ironic.}}

'''Alex's Lemonade Stand''' is a charity program that was set up by [[Lego]] in conjunction with their "[[Gal-pals|Friends]]" theme, which is intended for little girls. Chris, being the [[Tomgirl]] and fan of Lego that he is, has pledged to set up a lemonade stand in hopes of raising money for his "father who died of cancer", despite the fact [[Bob]] actually died of heart failure. Although his reasoning for creating the stand is still unclear, he may have thought that the money would go to him so he could buy more [[video games|vidya]].

== The event ==
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Something like this]]
According to the event page, entitled "[[Cwcville]] Helps", Chris will be running a lemonade stand for all three days of the event - from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m on Friday, June 8 through Sunday, June 10, 2012, more work than Chris has done since [[Cutco]] ditched him nine years ago. The stand was originally to be set up outside [[Chris's house]], but has since moved to the old [[Wikipedia:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] building, 100 Albemarle Square, [[Charlottesville]]. The initial fundraising goal of US$50 was quickly met after donations from Chris's friends, neighbors and fans, as well as some more sinister figures, such as [[Clyde Cash]] and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. As of February 24, the total amount of donations exceeded $150, although Chris never changed his original donation goal.

[[Image:132950942315.png|frame|center|Shit was so cash!]]

The page was later deleted, for reasons unknown; it is likely that Chris decided that raising money for ''dying children'' wasn't worth the [[stress]] of hearing mean things from [[trolls]]. It is currently not known if he will actually have a lemonade stand, but given that he has already exceeded the donation target, he probably won't bother.

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275 Cwcville's page on Alex's Lemonade Stand]</s> DELETED

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Websites]]