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Random-access humor

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random access n.
1. (computing) type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). See also random access memory.
adj.
2. (CWCism) non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
humor n.
1. Something funny.
2. (CWCism) Something not funny, but which can be made funny when accessed randomly (q.v.). See random access.
Wild Sonichu offers some uproarious random-access humor

Random-access humor is Chris's terminology for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. More traditional literary analysts might describe this as the literary device of non sequitur. The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Christian's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random that it is automatically funny, which is a common fallacy among nerds and retards. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his CWCFlyingElephants video.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often unoriginal. Jokes are mostly taken from Adult Swim shows, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Family Guy, or even shows like Ed, Edd n Eddy and Samurai Pizza Cats, making them completely out of context. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris is original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or making word-plays. This is due to Chris being a "somewhat concrete" thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. Bob told Chris a joke about Obama painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps re-telling the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "Nantucket" is, you will Google it soon.) Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,[1] a fear which falls nicely in line with autism.

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. He tends to use these when a conversation is not going in a direction he wants it to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will briefly distract him from seeing what a failure he is.

 
 
Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.
 

 

—Chris during the Father Call, showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills

Random ramblings

In November 2007, in a misguided attempt to help Encyclopedia Dramatica to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:


Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our Autistic Hero is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the Junkeons...

 
 

-"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"[2]


-"Uncle Spunky is a Funky Monkey."
-"Yellow Is a Mellow Color."
-"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
-"I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket."
-"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
-"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
-"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."[3]
-"Call 'Right Now', and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your Sweetheart, FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
-"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is Bob, how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
-"Well get out of here. What are you waiting on? I'm gonna chase you outta here."[4]
-"You've got a Hippo on your head."
-"Transformers. Robots on your head. Okay."
-"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."[5]
-"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."[5]
-"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"[5]
-"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist.[6]"
-"Is this Walter Grisby? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what?"


 


 

—Chris-Chan

I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!


Sources

  1. User talk:DariaCamacho
  2. Originally said by Ed; originated from Ed Edd n Eddy episode "One Plus One Equals Ed"
  3. From the US-dubbed version of Samurai Pizza Cats. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had " his wisdom teeth removed."
  4. Originally said by Meatwad; originated from Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Ol' Drippy"
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 From The Brak Show episode "The New Brak"
  6. Sealab 2021 episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "jerks")

See also

CWC-isms

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Dating education | Gal pal | Heart level | Sweetheart | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | Gaybian | Hanky-panky | Homos | Honest Content | Mass debating | Navy | Pickle | Raincoat | Recycling | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Cherokian Clan | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fangs | Fuzzy-wuzzies | Honor roll | Mental Block | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Prickly-Wicklies | Random-access humor | Scale of Respect | Heart level | Tomgirl

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Parody | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt | Reeb

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkop | Kick the Autistic | Laughs Under Lucricities | Manajerks | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Tobacky

Cursewords: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Naïve | Niggos | Pedofork | Slow-in-the-minds

See also: Minor CWC-isms | Chris and English