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Mailbag 8

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Mailbag 8 was uploaded to the CWCipedia in the early hours of 2 December 2008, and was answered by Chris on the same day.

One of the smaller Mailbags, Mailbag 8 was only seven messages long, and Chris only answered five of them. This also was the mailbag that finally pushed Chris over the edge and caused him to create the Autism Mailbag, a place where he could ignore people trying to present him with facts about his disorder to his heart's content. This Mailbag also contained one particularly offensive piece of fanart that Chris didn't have to censor, as tinypic beat him to it.

Answered

Yet another sweet boyfriend-free girl boy.

It's a trap

From: Bailey Jay <baileyj@gmail.com>

Hayyyy chris!

I've been reading sonichu for a while, and I'm soo glad you made your mailbag page so fans like me can get in touch with the true and honest brains behind cwcville!!

I really enjoyed the dating education episode... But I'm having some difficulties in finding an honest, caring boyfriend! Even though I'm following all your advice and I scored 100% on your test, nothing seems to work! Even when I think that I've met that "special someone" and we are hitting it off, they always eventually run away after a moment of being freaked out! It's sooooo frustrating!!!

What's a sweet, boyfriend-free girl like me to do??!

Xoxoxoxoxox

Bailey

Also, see the pic.. It's me ;)

Let me first say that you are Cute and Pretty. It may be a personal feature or a confided secret that for some reason offended those guys. Far be it from me to guess what it is, but don't fret; there is a man out there who will not leave you regardless of whatever it is that sets you apart. Do not worry; you are a very pretty woman, and there are a lot of free guys out there for you to choose from. --ChrisChanSonichu 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)

Chris the editor

From: Jacob N <jacob_n333@yahoo.com>

Hello, Chris,

My name is Jacob and I've been following your work for a while now. It has not been far from my mind as I have been working on my first novel, the first draft of which was finished just today (the 27th). As it's my first, I've been quite exhilarated, and in the afterglow I suddenly remembered a couple of things I've been wanting to ask you.

First: if I may be so audacious, I'd like it if you could read the first draft of my novel and tell me what you think of it. When I get to writing the second draft in six weeks, I'd like as many perspectives on the novel as I can, so that I can write the best novel that I can before sending it to publishers to be evaluated. Might I send you a copy?

Second: as a fellow Cherokee, I can't help but wonder why you drew your Cherokee ancestor as being pale-skinned, blue-eyed, and adorned with golden armor. Are the copper skin and leather of your ancestors not visually impressive enough for you? I also wonder why you used a pretend clan as a rival as opposed to one of our ancestral rivals, such as the Mi-Go or the Yithans.

Ia! Ithaqua f'taghn! With admiration, Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky of the Cherokee nation.

Firstly, I would be glad to look over the sample of your novel, please send the document to my e-mail at ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Secondly, I drew the ancestor that way and made up the second clan, because, I will admit, my knowledge of the Cherokees can be better. What I do know about them is their history with the pilgrims, the Trail of Tears and a few other bits of history. --ChrisChanSonichu 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)

Note: "Ia! Ithaqua f'taghn!" is a reference to the Lovecraft Mythos, not a phrase in Cherokee.

Junkie man

Sadly, tinypic deleted this before Chris could see it.
From: Jeremy Jeremy <jeremyjeremy@hotmail.co.uk>

My Dearest Christian,

In my careful consideration, there are no less than four aspects of the Sonichu which rear their heads at different moments throughout CWCiana. These are:

Sonichu, the Man; Sonichu, the Hero; Sonichu, the Husband; Sonichu, the Beast.

It is the Beast-Sonichu upon which I have affixed my gaze and of whom I wish to make a study; my firstmost thought of course is to the children, and thus I have rigged-up this simple Anti-Drugs poster featuring Sonichu in a pose which should scare any Mindless Junky off his dinner of Heroin and Raw Meat, Stolen from a Pakistani Shopkeep Down the Road (as it might be). Note the detail; note the sorrow in Sonichu's eyes, the cold needle as it slides through skin, flesh and yellow fur; note too how he sags like a sack of fat in the corner of his sad room, and how his drug use is so extreme that milky butter seeps and slops from his withered intimate.

Eagerly Awaiting Your Kind Reply, ~ Your Friend Jeremy.

Not only does the description sound TERRIBLE AND GROTESQUE, but the image must have been WORSE, because it was removed from tinypic. NONE of my Electric-Hedgehogs are junkies and Neither am I, so get that through your head and Sober Up. --ChrisChanSonichu 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)

Chris on grotesque violations of human rights

From: Rashid Ali Abdul <rashidaliabdul@gmail.com>

How can you misunderstand? I do not live in country with a democracy. I will be sentenced to death.

You tell me, "Don't worry about your parents; they only care about your safety and well-being."

No, sir. You are misunderstand. The police have already been told about this. They wish to take me away, they say I commit a sin that cannot be forgiven.

They wish to put me to death. I will be beheaded.

There will be no trail. I will die soon. There is no forgiveness for a spreading a "false doctrine."

Please...

Is this the best advice you can offer me? Please, tell me what to do. I am not going to live. Please do not tell me that you honestly are oblivious to my situation.

You got me into this, tell me how to get out.

Sincerely, Rashid

I am soo sorry about your situation. I do not know how to appropriately respond to that. The only thing I can say is promise that you will cease your actions and abide by their rules, and I will pray they will have a heart and let you go. (Damn, Such cruel people in this one world; it is just pitiful.) --ChrisChanSonichu 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)

Rejected Mailbag

ZÀ̶L̡̕G̸Ò ͜͠WA̴̶I̡͜T̀̕͟S

He who waits behind the wall

help me <aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@mail2Alcoholic.com>


oh god help me

Autism Mailbag

Passive ignorance is no longer enough

From: Douglas Cramer <autisticspectrumwarrior@gmail.com>

Einstein was not autistic. He had Aspergers Syndrome, which actually is similar to Autism except involves a very high IQ. In fact, people with Aspergers are higher functioning than even you or me.

Quoting Wikipedia:

"Ioan James, Michael Fitzgerald, and Simon Baron-Cohen believe that Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton had personalities consistent with Asperger syndrome"

In fact, I find it upsetting how you openly mock Aspergers, despite not even knowing what it is.

Do you have any friends with Aspergers? You should meet one in person. They're hard to tell apart from normal people due to their level of functioning. In fact, aside from social skills, they can even make normal people look retarded in comparison.

"Aspergers is MORE classified to those who come down with it LATER in life during their ADULT years."

This is incorrect. You are thinking of Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is a disorder that effects people when they become old, and ruins their memory.

Aspergers is the exact opposite. Aspergers happens at a very young age and causes people to have photographic memories. Their minds can memorize and learn things like a computer. One of my best friends has Aspergers (a math genius who works for NASA) and he is only 13!

According to Wikipedia, "Children with AS may have an unusually sophisticated vocabulary at a young age and have been colloquially called "little professors"

Little professors! I mean come on. That's far from the idea you have of them being slow or dim-witted.

I understand you get upset when people say that you have Aspergers. That's understandable. I too get upset when people think I have something other than autism. But going as far as telling a doctor to go shove it? Do you realize that's going a bit too far? Can't you just admit for once that you're wrong, and that you didn't know what Aspergers is?

Sincerely, Douglas C

For your information, I have read about aspergers, and I still do not care much about it at all anyway. --ChrisChanSonichu 03:20, 3 December 2009 (CET)

Wikipedia

From: April Conway <april@scientist.com>

Hello, I am the one who originally wrote the Wikipedia article on Aspergers. It seems you misread our findings on this subject. Allow me to clarify.

In the article it says:

"It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development."

Note that it says preservation. Meaning that they preserve the linguistic and cognitive skills that other Autism sufferers lose to due their condition.

According to research, Aspergers is a milder from of Autism. It's when people have partial Autism, but not the full blunt of it.

Though it's rare, it's still possible for them to have some of the clumsiness associated with Autism, though not from the onset. Though it's frequently reported, it's actually not very common. Which is what we meant by clumsiness not being required for a diagnosis.

Nowhere does it say that it's worse than Autism. I don't understand what made you come to that conclusion. That's not even possible due to it being a milder form of Autism.

While they may develop some autistic characteristics as they grow older, the effects aren't as severe as actual Autism. I think that's where you probably got confused.

This isn't an easy subject to understand but hopefully this clears up any misunderstanding. If you have any questions, be sure to let me know.

Sincerely, April


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For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 8