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CWC Update 1 July 2009

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"CWC Update 1 July 2009" (officially "CWC Update 07012009") is a video in which Chris denies that he was responsible for the untimely death of CWCville Mayor Billy Mays. His alibi was that he was at his cousin Jonathan Carey's wedding. He explains that he was forced to say that Billy Mays was the mayor of CWCville because of BlueSpike. He also mentions that he's continuing his Love Quest and that he will finish the long-awaited Sonichu Comic, which is utter bullshit because he's a lazy retard who can't keep a promise.

Video



CWC Update 1 July 2009
Stardate 1 July 2009
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"A heart attack was the likely cause of his death." I had nothin' to do with it.
 

 

Transcript

[sigh] Captain's Log, Stardate: July 1st, 2009.

I, uh, am recording this video to, uh, relinquish the false...ly—the false, stupid rumors of me having an—anything to do... with, uh, the death—with the recent death of Billy Mays.

[sighs] It's... [voice becomes unnaturally high-pitched]—it's such a slanderous lie you go—itha—it's because somebody dies, you go blame it on the nearest per—you just go blame it on the nearest person.... It just ticks me off. [makes some kind of weird noise and does something with his teeth]

And, anyway, I was actually at my cousin's wedding—Jonathan Carey—Jonathan Carey, in Red Oak, Virginia. You can look him up. I was there the weekend. You can even talk to my Uncle Raymond, who lives nearby.

Alright. And, anyway, the cause of his deck, and I read this to you from a printout from his Wikipedia page (and I quote):

"On Jula—On June 29th after an initial autopsy on Mays' body, Doctor Vernard Adams [pronounces it "Venard"] the Hillsborough County, F...—Florduh bedical examiner stated that m—he suffered from hypertensive heart disease and that a heart attack was the likely cause of his death."

I had nothin' to do with it. So quit the false rumors!

And, anyway, as for the past doc—the past statement that I did on a video—I did on the video upon the mayorship: he, Billy Mays, was never the mayor of CWCville. Never the mayor. I was lying out my ass when I said that, because I was being blackmailed, durin' the Julie fiasco. Curse that li'l 13-year-old brat!

[sighs] Deep breaths.... Deep breaths....

So... there you go. That's it. That's it. Alright? And I am thinking more about the comics, I'm drawing more, so... leave me alone. Let me be. I'm trying to find myself—trying d' complete my life sass as well especially finding the woman to be my sweetheart.

Have a good day, peace.

I'm Sorry, Dude Chris's videos For G4s Web Soup