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Vivitheg's AIM chat
Vivitheg's AIM chat was held on one day in late 2008. Our fellow Vivian was fed up with Chris's bullshit and thought it was time to talk some damn sense into him, and after rummaging around the internet for a while, she finally found Chris's AOL account. She then proceeded to have a chat with Chris, trying to address his many personal and psychological issues, from the Megan Schroeder saga, to his Attraction Sign and his arrest by jerkops, to the first trollings from 2008.
Chris proved to be so stubborn, self-centered and unable to take responsibility for his actions, that any attempt to reason with him failed. Any time Vivian made him think about his actions, the answer she received from Chris was always one of his stock phrases. Never did she managed to get him to think about his actions, thus cementing the theory that Chris is egotistical and always thinks he's right. After 3 long, excruciating hours, during which Chris presumably slipped on cat dung and knocked the Internet gateway, Vivian declared defeat, and it was after this chat that she converted from being a white knight to a full-on troll.
Fortunately for her and the PVCC forums, the resulting chat log was of the first insights on Chris's mind, and the psychological information obtained from its analysis proved to be decisive for the coordinated trollings in 2009.
The following section has a series of highlights from the chat. The major ones are italicized.
Highlights of the chat
- Line 25: Even though Megan made it more than clear there's nothing more going on between her and Chris, he's still waiting for her.
- Line 35: He thinks all his documents posted on Encyclopedia Dramatica were twisted and mangled, when they're in fact present intact and raw.
- Line 56: Even after being trolled, he still believed the girls were lining up at his feet over the phone and the Internet.
- Line 127: Aside from total devotion to him, Chris doesn't have much of a clear idea of what he wants in a woman. His desires are mostly generic: "a nice, honest personality, ability to care about me genuinely, able to love me for me".
- Lines 100, 134, 192, 236, 239, 269, 294, 395, 401, 436, 446, 592, 672: Chris seems to be incapable of introspecting and solving problems. Quite often, when asked to think about something personal for him or when asked to do something, he just BAWWWWWs and blurts out one of his stock phrases: "I feel stupid", "I am only Human, and a Virgin", "How am I supposed to know better [...] if I have not had EVEN MY FIRST DATE?", "but I AM STILL SOCIALLY SHY!", "with my friggin' autism mental block, it's easier said than done", "I lack self-confidence", "I'M JUST TOO DAMN SHY AND NOT SELF-FRIGGIN-CONFIDENT!", "I'm in pain, stress, heart-confused", "I am DUMB on the Relationship, Dating and all those subjects",
- Line 161: Chris goes out to clean some cat dung at his kitchen, but he slipped and "made a mess".
- Line 170: Chris admits he failed to achieve any kind of progress during his Love Quest ever since 2003.
- Line 192: Chris still thinks he can't grasp the basics of dating without a first date, regardless of how much people in the world already know the basics while on their way to their first date.
- Line 212: He still thinks Encyclopedia Dramatica has the fault for the drama between Chris, Megan, and the Rule 34 drawing.
- Line 258: Every now and then, he blurts out some non-sequitur about his life or his sexual desires. Instead of controlling them, he justifies them by saying it's his half of the discussion, and he can say anything that pops up in his "Random Access Memory" (not the same as a computer RAM).
- Line 309: Singles bars are strictly verboten for Chris, as he irrationally views these places as too dark and "smokey, drinkey"; basically, the whole purpose of a singles bar.
- Line 317: He still hangs out at the library looking for girls. Only difference is, instead of doing it at PVCC, he does it at the University of Virginia...
- Line 332: ... and he still thinks the library is a place where people go to hang out and find a Sweetheart...
- Lines 352-367: ... probably because he thinks people who just happened to find their friends at the library and give each other a hug are people who just found their Sweetheart.
- Line 402: He still thinks his "educational porn" is a good idea to learn about sex.
- Line 403: He still thinks "Dating Education" should be a curricular subject on all schools...
- Line 407: ... and he fervently defends this.
- Line 411: He thinks reaching your third date with a girl automatically entitles you to the right of having sex with her.
- Line 446: Chris is obviously unaware of the impression he's causing by calling himself an unconfident, high-functional autistic virgin.
- Line 496: Chris sucks so much at talking to girls, he freezes up even when rehearsing at home with his Lego figures.
- Lines 501-510: He thinks we care about his Electric-Hedgehogs Sonichu and Rosechu.
- Line 536: He usually doesn't think Sonic the Hedgehog is a kiddie video game when it obviously is.
- Line 545: And if he does thinks it's childish, he thinks drawing his electric-hedgehogs having sex automatically makes him very mature.
- Line 556: He sees nothing wrong with doing it, to boot.
- Line 572: Chris does not believe in maturity.
- Line 603: He still insists on whitewashing his misbehavior at the mall and blaming Scotpalazzo and the Jerkops for it.
- Line 620: After being b& by the mall security, he was also partially b& from the mall: he can only go with his parents...
- Lines 625-658: ... and yet, he still thinks his ban was unjustified and thinks being emotionally hurt gives him permission to loudly BAWWWWW in the middle of the mall.
- Line 718: He thinks therapists are useless, that everything can be fixed "with a close gal-pal".
- Line 731: He would rather eat a cube of shit than sell his stuff...
- Line 759: ... excuses him claiming he needs no money because he can find counsel with his church...
- Line 763: ... and thinks like a Xenufag who claims his church is better than any psychiatrist.
- Lines 770-800: He can't have a view on Christianity other than a fundamentalist one, because he can only read literally what the Bible says.
- Line 817: Lastly, religious tolerance is beyond Chris's understanding, as he can only believe that God and Jesus are true, instead of knowing and acknowledging the existence and beliefs of people professing other religions. Case in point: Vivitheg is Daoist, but the sole fact that she doesn't believe in GodJesus makes him uncomfortable.
CWCSonichu: Hey, Vivian. How are you?
CWCSonichu returned at 11:23:03 AM.
VIVItheG: I want to make sure however, this is the actual Chris.
CWCSonichu: I've been working on the deviantART page.
VIVItheG: There have been so many fakes recently.
VIVItheG: That I've tried to get into contact with
VIVItheG: only to be trolled
CWCSonichu: if you have a question to ask me that can confirm me to you; fire away.
VIVItheG: well I don't know anything the real chris would know
CWCSonichu: Also, I know that I did send you a few e-mails about the deviantART page, and asking you if I can add yours, as long as I quote you, from my ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com account.
VIVItheG: oh okay
VIVItheG: that works.
CWCSonichu: did you read the e-mails?
VIVItheG: do you believe panda is a troll now?
CWCSonichu: I'm on the CWCSonichu AIM only, to wait for Megan to reveal her real self to me.
CWCSonichu: not yet.
VIVItheG: what, real self?
CWCSonichu: you see, an impostor likely has hacked into her old yahoo e-mail account, and has been sending me e-mails; I can tell in the messages of those e-mails that they were coming from the impostor.
CWCSonichu: I know that Megan may still have her AIM account name, so I'm waiting to talk to her
through there, so I can update her on the recent events for real, if possible.
VIVItheG: Chris...I...I don't know what to say
CWCSonichu: it's alright.
VIVItheG: Didn't megan make herself clear that she wanted to stop talking to you?
VIVItheG: I'm only going by what those e-mails said
VIVItheG: but i have no idea what happened in real life
VIVItheG: so other things could have happened
CWCSonichu: I've actually talked to her through the AIM a few weeks ago; it's all okay between her and me as just friends now. :-)
CWCSonichu: damn those bullies to twist things in the e-mails out of proportion.
VIVItheG: Well, they weren't really twisted
VIVItheG: They were just the raw e-mails posted
VIVItheG: Left to our interpretation
VIVItheG: they did no twisting, chris
CWCSonichu: that's not important to me right now.
CWCSonichu: back to Panda; do you have any concrete evidence to prove her to be a troll?
CWCSonichu: okay, then.
VIVItheG: but i do have evidence that she is going to break up the relationship with you
CWCSonichu: what is your source?
VIVItheG: That is the revelations of last night
CWCSonichu: let me look.
CWCSonichu: my response: Holy Crap.
VIVItheG: I have no proof that she is a troll, I'll admit that
VIVItheG: But it seems too damn likely that girls are just lining up at your feet
CWCSonichu: could you elaborate further in that statement?
VIVItheG: How many girls have wanted to start a relationship with you
VIVItheG: let's say as of one month ago
CWCSonichu: In Person, NO WOMEN HAVE "Lined Up at my Feet". On the internet and in recent phone calls, I guess so.
CWCSonichu: so, I can't fully agree with your statement.
VIVItheG: exactly chris
VIVItheG: no woman IN PERSON
VIVItheG: it's so easy to manipulate people over the internet
VIVItheG: you can't start an honest relationship on the internet
VIVItheG: it's nearly impossible chris
VIVItheG: there are so many trolls out there right now
CWCSonichu: damn it.
CWCSonichu: this really grinds my gears.
VIVItheG: what does
CWCSonichu: this whole thing right now.
CWCSonichu: what I'm hearing from you, what I've just read on Panda's entry; it grinds my gears.
VIVItheG: the truth is hard to face chris
CWCSonichu: And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of "Kick the Autistic". I'm gonna need all the luck I can get. *Game Over*
VIVItheG: You have to realize something
VIVItheG: Sometimes we even forget you are autistic
VIVItheG: It is your person
VIVItheG: that is turning people away from you
VIVItheG: not your autism
CWCSonichu: my person?
VIVItheG: I read the things you said with kawaiikitsune
VIVItheG: She was a geniunely nice person
VIVItheG: she wasn't trying to troll you
CWCSonichu: yes she was.
VIVItheG: she was trying to help you
CWCSonichu: no she wasn't
VIVItheG: what do you mean no she wasn't
VIVItheG: explain that
CWCSonichu: a troll
VIVItheG: oh okay
VIVItheG: She was trying to help you
VIVItheG: the only reason she wanted to forge any relationship with you was to help you
CWCSonichu: Well, I feel stupid.
VIVItheG: you can't just write that off as "i feel stupid"
VIVItheG: you really have to look at what you said to her
CWCSonichu: well, I do right now feel stupid. stupid and blind of obvious things.
VIVItheG: What do YOU think turned her away from you?
VIVItheG: I want to know what YOU think
VIVItheG: this is the only way I can help you
VIVItheG: If I tell you what I think, that won't help you
VIVItheG: because we can have completely different answers
CWCSonichu: let me read the words.
CWCSonichu: that's what I'm looking at.
CWCSonichu: after reading the messages from me, I'm not sure what to think.
CWCSonichu: or feel
VIVItheG: you sent them! you should know!
CWCSonichu: I just don't know; those were much earlier messages, and I've been under a lot of stress, moments of happiness, and whatnot. the new bunches of informations pushed a lot of thoughts from then out of my head.
VIVItheG: You have to watch what you say
VIVItheG: I mean no guy talks like that to a woman
VIVItheG: I mean, you shouldn't even be on the topic of physical contact
VIVItheG: What do you want in a woman?
VIVItheG: Besides looks.
CWCSonichu: a nice, honest personality, ability to care about me genuinely, able to love me for me. I can't say other internal details off the top of my head.
VIVItheG: That's acceptable I guess
VIVItheG: I mean who wants a person that's not nice
VIVItheG: I mean those are fairly generic
VIVItheG: Everyone should look for someone who cares about them
VIVItheG: I mean that's given in a relationship
CWCSonichu: I am only Human, and a Virgin; I'M GOING TO MAKE A LOT OF TRIALS AND ERRORS that may sound unsound.
VIVItheG: How many years has it been chris
CWCSonichu: since when?
VIVItheG: Since you started your so called "love quest"
VIVItheG: it shouldn't even be called a love quest
CWCSonichu: my Sweetheart Search started the Summer of 2003; after I turned 21
VIVItheG: okay about 5 years
VIVItheG: How much progress do YOU think you've made and tell me why
CWCSonichu: greater than 5 years.
CWCSonichu: let me think...
CWCSonichu: it started with the realization of the infinitely-high boyfriend factor,
CWCSonichu: then I thought of using signs for attraction,
CWCSonichu: then trying to put the word as inexpensively as possible in newsletters, or whatever
CWCSonichu: Met Megan,
CWCSonichu: Lost Megan,
CWCSonichu: Mary Lee Walsh and the Jerkops thwarted my Sweetheart Search numerous times, making it obvious that Virgina is for Virgins; NOT LOVERS,
CWCSonichu: Sonichu fanbase rose greatly; chatted with female fans,
CWCSonichu: built up a bit of confidence between Blanca, Sarah J and Panda, with wandering, learning heart,
CWCSonichu: CHAOS from the Trolls,
CWCSonichu: desperate for True, Honest Relationship,
VIVItheG: is that it?
VIVItheG: that doesn't answer
VIVItheG: how much progress do YOU THINK YOU'VE MADE
CWCSonichu: I WAS NOT FINISHED; I HAD TO CLEAN UP SOME CAT CRAP, AND SLIPPED AND MADE A MESS IN MY KITCHEN!
VIVItheG: alright sorry
CWCSonichu signed off at 12:10:13 PM.
CWCSonichu signed on at 12:13:33 PM.
CWCSonichu: felt somewhat desperate, and socially flushed, to have my first intercourse,
CWCSonichu: LEARNED A LOT,
CWCSonichu: I guess NO FREAKIN' PROGRESS! DAMN IT!
VIVItheG: exactly chris
VIVItheG: no progress
VIVItheG: What do YOU think you've been doing wrong.
cwcsonichu signed off at 12:17:18 PM.
cwcsonichu signed on at 12:20:16 PM.
CWCSonichu: are you there?
VIVItheG: what's happening?
VIVItheG: your internet unstable what?
CWCSonichu: banged my head on the dresser; had my cable modem and wi-fi router on the top of it; toppled over, causing connection chaos.
VIVItheG: last thing i said was
CWCSonichu: did you get what I typed?
VIVItheG: What do you think you're doing wrong
VIVItheG: yes i did
VIVItheG: and i've heard it before
VIVItheG: so it's nothing really new
VIVItheG: So I just want to know what you think you're doing wrong
CWCSonichu: I don't know; I'M A VIRGIN!
CWCSonichu: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER, RELATIONSHIP-WISE?
CWCSonichu: if I have not had EVEN MY FIRST DATE.
VIVItheG: A lot of people have first dates
VIVItheG: do you think they know everything then?
CWCSonichu: maybe not, but the majority of them had their First Dates in their EARLY TEENAGE YEARS.
VIVItheG: and still
VIVItheG: some people don't
CWCSonichu: still in pain from cleaning up that crap.
VIVItheG: so there are still people who are nervous about their first date
CWCSonichu: and slipping on the floor, banging my head.
VIVItheG: sorry about that
VIVItheG: that is a lot of accidents in a short amount of time...
CWCSonichu: that's not your fault.
VIVItheG: What do you think went wrong with Megan
CWCSonichu: call me possibly clumsy.
VIVItheG: and I'll tell you what I think went wrong
CWCSonichu: In PROTEST against that ED page, right after I found it last November, I drew my FIRST Sexual Drawings, including that one between me and Megan; friggin' bastards twisted it to their evil, instead of leaving it alone for my PROTEST.
CWCSonichu: she saw it, and that was that; "I need my space."
CWCSonichu: I wish I had never found that friggin' page.
CWCSonichu: IN the first place.
VIVItheG: Chris, sadly that's not the answer i wanted to hear
VIVItheG: but first i'll address this
VIVItheG: You drew that picture
VIVItheG: It was your fault
VIVItheG: Not ED.
VIVItheG: You have to accept that.
CWCSonichu: I DID, LONG AGO.
CWCSonichu: I had to be a Protestor.
VIVItheG: well you seem to imply you blame ED in that answer above
CWCSonichu: HAD TO
VIVItheG: you do something
VIVItheG: the page gets bigger
VIVItheG: do you know why
CWCSonichu: they basically monitor EVERY MOVE I MAKE.
VIVItheG: on the internet
VIVItheG: so do you know what you must do
CWCSonichu: get more social, but I AM STILL SOCIALLY SHY!
VIVItheG: get over it
VIVItheG: just get over it.
CWCSonichu: with my friggin' autism mental block, it's easier said than done.
VIVItheG: You are better off than most people with autism
VIVItheG: You're very lucky
VIVItheG: I know people with autism, they can hardly talk.
CWCSonichu: you don't think I already knew that?
VIVItheG: Think about what they go through
CWCSonichu: I've seen Rain Man
VIVItheG: So get over it.
VIVItheG: about megan
VIVItheG: the response I wanted to hear
VIVItheG: was that she explicitly said
VIVItheG: that she wanted to JUST BE FRIENDS
VIVItheG: and that should have been the end of it
VIVItheG: once a woman tells a man no, they have to respect that
VIVItheG: if the man keeps pressing on, then the woman will be irritated and then probably lose that friendship
CWCSonichu: I have my dreams that God gave to me, and I have to see my Crystal Weston Chandler be Born. But I need my Sweetheart first.
VIVItheG: what does that have to do
VIVItheG: with anything i just said
CWCSonichu: I DON'T KNOW; it's my half of the discussion; I can say anything that randomly pops up in my Random Access Memory.
CWCSonichu: it's too random in my opinion.
VIVItheG: can you stop from doing that
VIVItheG: well you acknowledge that it is
VIVItheG: so maybe you can stop yourself
CWCSonichu: I lack self-confidence.
VIVItheG: what does that have to do with stopping yourself from saying something you already know is "too random"
VIVItheG: and then this doesn't even have to do with megan
VIVItheG: and the fact that she just wanted to be friends
VIVItheG: god we are off on so many subjects now i can hardly keep track
CWCSonichu: Forget about Megan.
VIVItheG: That is some good advice i hope YOU will take
CWCSonichu: I can hardly keep track myself.
VIVItheG: to forget about megan.
CWCSonichu: I meant for you to stop talking about her.
VIVItheG: I want you
VIVItheG: to acknowledge
VIVItheG: that all you will be with her
VIVItheG: is just friends
VIVItheG: You need to find another person
VIVItheG: Go out into the world
VIVItheG: and look
CWCSonichu: I have acknowledged that a long time ago.
VIVItheG: That is good.
CWCSonichu: I have been looking
CWCSonichu: I"M JUST TOO DAMN SHY AND NOT SELF_FRIGGIN"_CONFIDENT
VIVItheG: BE MORE CONFIDENT
CWCSonichu: IN Charlottesville.
VIVItheG: well where exactly
VIVItheG: what places
CWCSonichu: that's easier said than done; i've said that before.
VIVItheG: single's bar
VIVItheG: why not there
VIVItheG: that seems
VIVItheG: like a very good place
VIVItheG: in my opinion to start looking
VIVItheG: you know
CWCSonichu: smokey, drunk; turn-offs!!
CWCSonichu: too dark too.
VIVItheG: go during the day.
VIVItheG: there are bound to be other people like you
VIVItheG: who are looking
VIVItheG: you can't just write off a place
VIVItheG: because it "stereotypically"
VIVItheG: has those kinds of people
CWCSonichu: I GO TO THE UVA"S ALDERMANLIBRARY: VERY POPULATED OFTEN
VIVItheG: you don't know that
VIVItheG: what's uva
CWCSonichu: University Of Virginia.
VIVItheG: i'm just saying
VIVItheG: at a university
VIVItheG: that age range
VIVItheG: 18-23 ish
VIVItheG: i'm guessing
VIVItheG: maybe too young?
CWCSonichu: RIGHT IN MY ALLEY.
CWCSonichu: I'm looking for 18-26
VIVItheG: and how do you look for women...in a library
CWCSonichu: there is a lounge.
CWCSonichu: in the library
CWCSonichu: and a coffee shop
CWCSonichu: you tell me
VIVItheG: at my college
VIVItheG: in the library
CWCSonichu: it is a very popular place.
VIVItheG: people like to study
VIVItheG: that's what I do
VIVItheG: i don't go to a library
VIVItheG: thinking about getting a boyfriend
CWCSonichu: a lot of people go to the library looking for their sweetheart.
CWCSonichu: it's just a matter of being there at the right time.
CWCSonichu: and not being fucking autistic and shy!
CWCSonichu: I'm sorry.
CWCSonichu: I'm on edge right now.
VIVItheG: why are you apologizing?
VIVItheG: i'm trying to think of someway to explain this to you
VIVItheG: how many people have you seen
CWCSonichu: well, I just cursed for one thing, in a loud way.
CWCSonichu: a lot.
VIVItheG: "hook up" in the library
VIVItheG: on a completely stranger basis
CWCSonichu: a lot
CWCSonichu: a lot
VIVItheG: they haven't had previous classes together before
VIVItheG: how many is a lot
VIVItheG: How many haver YOU SEEN
CWCSonichu: in the years I've witnessed there, over 100 times
VIVItheG: and you can confirm
VIVItheG: that those were all on complete basis
VIVItheG: of them not knowing each other previously
CWCSonichu: I have a headache
VIVItheG: and then the relationship works out
VIVItheG: for them
VIVItheG: I don't believe that at all, I can't believe that.
VIVItheG: This is a library on a university
VIVItheG: it's not a place for people to just hook up
VIVItheG: i don't understand why you would go there
VIVItheG: you must feel out of place?
VIVItheG: don't you?
CWCSonichu: why can't you just say "okay" after I type in brb, so I can get an asprin, take a deep breath or something, which is the acronym for "be right back"?
CWCSonichu: *from stress*
CWCSonichu: *and pain*
VIVItheG: because you will be back
VIVItheG: and you will read those
VIVItheG: that is why
VIVItheG: well i dont' know what you were gonna do okay
CWCSonichu: I was inklingly being sarcastic.
VIVItheG: that was terrible.
CWCSonichu: I feel terrible; phyically and mentally.
VIVItheG: maybe i'm doing this wrong
VIVItheG: why do you feel terrible
CWCSonichu: I'm in pain, stress, heart-confused; how can I be more clear than that?
CWCSonichu: plus my headache.
VIVItheG: i think you are putting too much attachment
CWCSonichu: to what?
VIVItheG: to relationships
VIVItheG: that definitely won't work out
CWCSonichu: well, like I said, I don't know better, I am DUMB on the Relationship, Dating and all those subjects, except for the amount of educational porn I have watched, then I feel smarter about how I'd like my first time to go. But I desperately need a Dating Education Class, and High Schools don't even think of that in addition to their Sexual Education.
VIVItheG: dating education class
VIVItheG: does not exist
CWCSonichu: IT SHOULD.
VIVItheG: because it is different for every person
VIVItheG: you can't tailor it to a general group
VIVItheG: it's individual experiences
CWCSonichu: Sex Ed is good for date 3 or beyond, but what is it that has to be done before then?
CWCSonichu: that's why Dating Education IS REQUIRED DESPERIATELY.
VIVItheG: first off
VIVItheG: date 3 does not mean sex
VIVItheG: in a relationship
VIVItheG: sex should be one of the last things
VIVItheG: you got to know each other
VIVItheG: how are you lives going to be with each other
CWCSonichu: I already knew that.
VIVItheG: you don't seem to know that
VIVItheG: it's not like in 2 dates
VIVItheG: you will know everything about that person
CWCSonichu: you are not telepathic
VIVItheG: let's have sex.
VIVItheG: i know i'm not
VIVItheG: i'm just basing it off things you say
VIVItheG: that's all i've got to work with
CWCSonichu: shit my quotes.
VIVItheG: ...yes. what you say
VIVItheG: reflects who you are
CWCSonichu: well, I am a DUMB Frustrated Virgin, and I've never had a First Date, I'm 26, I lack self-confidence, the Boyfriend-Factor is infinitely-high, I fear rejection, I'm STRAIGHT, I'm High-Functionally Autistic; I should know A LOT BETTER, BUT I DON'T KNOW A THING on the Emotional Basics that is REQUIRED BEFOREHAND!
VIVItheG: don't call yourself dumb
VIVItheG: if you can't even believe in yourself
VIVItheG: then why bother with life
VIVItheG: don't call yourself a virgin
VIVItheG: people don't need to know that
CWCSonichu: On the subjects, I don't know better, so I am DUMB ON THOSE SUBJECTS.
VIVItheG: well don't say that
VIVItheG: what will people think
VIVItheG: if you call yourself dumb
VIVItheG: think about it
VIVItheG: what will they think about you
VIVItheG: that you are dumb
CWCSonichu: I'm not telepathic myself.
VIVItheG: and not worth their time
VIVItheG: if I said I was dumb
VIVItheG: what would you think
VIVItheG: that i was dumb
VIVItheG: exactly come on
CWCSonichu: my head is blank.
CWCSonichu: right now.
CWCSonichu: so I can't come up with a sound answer.
VIVItheG: I am an idiot.
CWCSonichu: no, you're not.
VIVItheG: okay i'll do this a different way
VIVItheG: I like ponies.
VIVItheG: What does that say about me.
CWCSonichu: that's fine, so do I.
VIVItheG: okay uhm
VIVItheG: This isn't going to work
VIVItheG: if we have prior knowledge of each other
VIVItheG: Whatever you say to a person
VIVItheG: that you've just met
VIVItheG: that is what they're going to think
VIVItheG: they have no prior knowledge of anything else
CWCSonichu: mostly, I do not claim to know what other people are going to think about me and what I say, so I just let them be.
VIVItheG: if you talk to them
VIVItheG: and introduce yourself
VIVItheG: with stuff
VIVItheG: that's what they're going to think
VIVItheG: so calling yourself dumb
VIVItheG: is not going to help
CWCSonichu: everybody knows that.
CWCSonichu: I know that.
VIVItheG: then WHY do YOU call yourself dumb
VIVItheG: if you already know that
CWCSonichu: because my mind is blank, and I feel dumb right now.
VIVItheG: if you were introducing yourself to a girl right now
VIVItheG: what would you say
VIVItheG: first time
VIVItheG: they know nothing about you
VIVItheG: just first time
CWCSonichu: I'd probably freeze up, because that often happens to me, even in rehearsals at home, between my LEGO figurine and a woman LEGO figurine; I'd constantly freeze up.
VIVItheG: pretend you wouldn't freeze up
VIVItheG: what would you say
CWCSonichu: then my mind would freeze up.
VIVItheG: "so what are you doing here"
CWCSonichu: where's here?
VIVItheG: pretend it's the library okay
CWCSonichu: ida know..."hanging around"
VIVItheG: "what do you do?"
CWCSonichu: "I draw comics"
VIVItheG: "interesting, what are they about"
CWCSonichu: "stories of my electric-hedgehogs, Sonichu and Rosechu; some stories about me."
VIVItheG: i can already tell
VIVItheG: that this is going nowhere
VIVItheG: you know anna right
VIVItheG: and that blog
VIVItheG: i don't remember the details
VIVItheG: but you talked to her about your sonichu and whatnot
CWCSonichu: I Personally Know Anna McLerran
VIVItheG: yes i know
VIVItheG: to be perfectly honest
VIVItheG: to a woman
VIVItheG: looking for a man
VIVItheG: to be with for the rest of her life
VIVItheG: someone who draws comics about childish things
VIVItheG: do you see where i'm coming from
CWCSonichu: no, I don't
VIVItheG: When a woman looks for maturity
VIVItheG: in a man
VIVItheG: let's put it that way
VIVItheG: comics about electric hedgehogs whatever
VIVItheG: based off children's video games
VIVItheG: you may not think they are for children
VIVItheG: but for a majority of the people in this world
VIVItheG: they are
CWCSonichu: they're not just for children.
CWCSonichu: I disagree.
VIVItheG: You may disagree
VIVItheG: but for a majority of the people
VIVItheG: who live
VIVItheG: in the united states
VIVItheG: they are seen as children's video games
VIVItheG: and it's okay if you still play them
VIVItheG: but to draw comics involving made up electric hedgehog pokemon
CWCSonichu: what if I said that I draw sex pictures? would that make a difference?
VIVItheG: are you being...sarcastic
CWCSonichu: no, I'm being serious.
VIVItheG: Think about it
VIVItheG: for a second
CWCSonichu: instead of cartoons, I draw sex pictures; would that make a difference of opinion?
VIVItheG: It would be disturbing
VIVItheG: If you know that
VIVItheG: why would you say that
CWCSonichu: to the naked, unopen mind.
VIVItheG: so why would you even bring up the point in the first place
CWCSonichu: to make a point; you say maturity; honest intercourse is mature.
VIVItheG: that is not mature
VIVItheG: well okay
VIVItheG: that is
VIVItheG: but it's now being taken in a completely different way
VIVItheG: now it's disturbing
VIVItheG: which is equally as bad
VIVItheG: as being immature
VIVItheG: i have to go give my sister a ride, i'll be back in 15 minutes
VIVItheG: i want you to think about what you've just said
VIVItheG: and tell me why you said those things
cwcsonichu signed off at 1:16:40 PM.
cwcsonichu signed on at 1:16:43 PM.
CWCSonichu: okay, what would you recommend that I say that would make me sound "mature"? Maturity is a joke; NOBODY REALLY GROWS UP.
cwcsonichu signed off at 1:18:14 PM.
CWCSonichu: are you thinking?
cwcsonichu signed on at 1:18:56 PM.
CWCSonichu: please respond
cwcsonichu signed off at 1:23:28 PM.
cwcsonichu signed on at 1:26:09 PM.
CWCSonichu: Hey, Vivian.
CWCSonichu: I'll stay here for a while longer.
CWCSonichu: oh, good, you're back.
VIVItheG: yeah i said i had to drop my sister off somewhere
CWCSonichu: oh, okay.
CWCSonichu: did you think about what I said last.
VIVItheG: let's put it this way
VIVItheG: what do you look for in a woman
VIVItheG: would you want her to like childish things
CWCSonichu: that's an optional feature.
VIVItheG: okay i got it
VIVItheG: why would a 26 year old who doesn't attend that university be in a library
CWCSonichu: but in a nutshell, I'm looking for an 18-26-year old, Boyfriend-free, caring , smoke-free, non-alcholic white woman to make into a sweetheart from the ground-up
VIVItheG: it seems out of place
VIVItheG: for most women
VIVItheG: i would say
CWCSonichu: a lot I guess.
VIVItheG: so why would you be in a library
VIVItheG: tell me why
CWCSonichu: I would be at Fashion Square instead, but the Manajerk, Scottpalazzo, there basically permanently banned me from there.
CWCSonichu: and Wal-Mart and Target were no-good.
VIVItheG: well i'm not talking about those places
VIVItheG: well actually wait
VIVItheG: why were you banned
VIVItheG: what did you do
VIVItheG: that's probably a better question
CWCSonichu: and UVA's Alderman Library is a lot better than a singles bar.
VIVItheG: how do you konw
CWCSonichu: they just didn't like me hanging around there; they're all a bunch of jerks.
CWCSonichu: basic instinct.
CWCSonichu: so, I wasn't spending money there; what should they care?
VIVItheG: you're withholding information
VIVItheG: you must have done something
VIVItheG: to draw attention to yourself
CWCSonichu: specifically, I was NOT TOTALLY BANNED, but I can only be there with one of my parents.
CWCSonichu: the situation with Hanna.
CWCSonichu: as read in the comic; it was the anguished cry.
CWCSonichu: so I was litteraly loud; big whoop; those jerks still hated my guts.
VIVItheG: well, that does draw attention
CWCSonichu: like a lot of men in this state.
VIVItheG: and distract people who are trying to concetrate
VIVItheG: on their job/buying stuff
VIVItheG: you don't do that kind of thing in public
VIVItheG: which is why you got kicked out
VIVItheG: YOU may think it was just a loud cry
CWCSonichu: well, it was called for; my heart was toyed with.
VIVItheG: but OTHERS may think it was a distraction
VIVItheG: what would OTHER PEOPLE around the area think
CWCSonichu: probably that somebody got Seriously Hurt, which was WHAT DID HAPPEN.
VIVItheG: maybe seriously hurt physically
CWCSonichu: I was the victim.
CWCSonichu: the physicallity; my heart.
VIVItheG: that is not physically
VIVItheG: losing an arm is physically
CWCSonichu: getting an emotional stab to the heart is physical.
VIVItheG: to others
VIVItheG: it just looks like someone yelling nooo
VIVItheG: for no apparent reason
CWCSonichu: it was still called for.
VIVItheG: no it wasn't
CWCSonichu: but forget about that.
VIVItheG: you have to realize
VIVItheG: that your behavior
VIVItheG: is not suitable for the public
VIVItheG: you have to change yourself
CWCSonichu: that was years ago that happened.
VIVItheG: you don't seem to recognize why that was wrong
VIVItheG: for you, maybe it was right, but you have to consider the other people
CWCSonichu: I DID RECOGNIZE.
CWCSonichu: they just didn't like me hanging around there; they're all a bunch of jerks.
VIVItheG: You seem to blame them
VIVItheG: not yourself
CWCSonichu: the other people didn't have their heart played with terribly.
VIVItheG: i mean you weren't suspicious at all?
VIVItheG: people just don't go up to another preson and say I need a boyfriend
VIVItheG: that's not how it works
CWCSonichu: REWIND; I, myself, NEED a Girlfriend.
VIVItheG: But you didn't think twice
VIVItheG: about someone coming up to you out of the blue
CWCSonichu: I was desperate then.
CWCSonichu: as well.
CWCSonichu: and I still didn't know better.
CWCSonichu: I am a mess.
CWCSonichu: a mess of issues.
VIVItheG: you need to see a professional
VIVItheG: i can't help you
VIVItheG: i've realized that now
VIVItheG: you need to seek professional help
VIVItheG: ask your parents
VIVItheG: i'm sure they will help you with that
CWCSonichu: I have seen a psyciatrist; no help. and my parents are old; still no help.
VIVItheG: i mean they can most likely help you
VIVItheG: find a professional
VIVItheG: i mean
CWCSonichu: a professional what?
VIVItheG: who helps people deal with their problems
CWCSonichu: therapist = Psyciatrist.
VIVItheG: okay sure
VIVItheG: just look for one
VIVItheG: you have a new set of problems
VIVItheG: maybe looking for one now
VIVItheG: will be the best choice
VIVItheG: because i honestly can't help you
VIVItheG: i've tried for 3 hours now
VIVItheG: and it's like fighting a wall
VIVItheG: i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try
CWCSonichu: eventually, you make a dent.
VIVItheG: but with the help
VIVItheG: of someone else
VIVItheG: look for a therapist, psyciatrist
VIVItheG: just do it
VIVItheG: trust me
VIVItheG: you may not think they help
VIVItheG: but at least you tried looking for help
VIVItheG: finding a girlfriend is the least of your problems
VIVItheG: you have more issues to deal with
CWCSonichu: yes I did.
VIVItheG: before you can even begin to i don't know
VIVItheG: a job maybe
VIVItheG: school maybe
CWCSonichu: a therapist costs money; what I really need is a close gal-pal.
VIVItheG: you seem to have plenty of money
VIVItheG: the government gives you mony
VIVItheG: i can type i swear
VIVItheG: you seem to have plenty
VIVItheG: use it for something more than just whatever you normally spend it on
CWCSonichu: I am not Mr. Joe Millionaire.
VIVItheG: get some help
VIVItheG: but you seem to have a lot of shit in your room
VIVItheG: sell some of that
CWCSonichu: I have bills.
CWCSonichu: I'm not sellin'
VIVItheG: what is more important
VIVItheG: those things
VIVItheG: or mental help
CWCSonichu: I don't want to.
VIVItheG: You have to let go chris
VIVItheG: those things shouldn't mean such
VIVItheG: a attachment
VIVItheG: material goods
VIVItheG: is not something that brings happiness
VIVItheG: i know this
CWCSonichu: you don't think I didn't know that either.
VIVItheG: then why won't you sell them
CWCSonichu: I just don't want to.
CWCSonichu: and I don't need to.
VIVItheG: that's not a good reason
VIVItheG: you apparently
VIVItheG: don't have money
VIVItheG: so get some
VIVItheG: get some help
CWCSonichu: I don't need money to get help.
VIVItheG: what kind of help are you thinking of
CWCSonichu: and I don't need a professional.
VIVItheG: Yes you do
VIVItheG: Yes you do chris
CWCSonichu: I have the people of my church.
VIVItheG: you already got kicked out of one church
VIVItheG: i mean
VIVItheG: how are they going to help
CWCSonichu: my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"
VIVItheG: and how have they helped
VIVItheG: so far
CWCSonichu: because God and Jesus supports them as well.
VIVItheG: and how will god and jesus help you
CWCSonichu: they guide a lot of people.
VIVItheG: do you think god is helping you right now
VIVItheG: sending all these trolls after you
VIVItheG: sending all these failed relatioinships after you
CWCSonichu: in a way, yes.
CWCSonichu: he is helping me.
CWCSonichu: have you read the bible?
VIVItheG: he seems to just be making your life worse.
CWCSonichu: go read it, or join a church.
CWCSonichu: so you can learn for yourself.
CWCSonichu: the lessons behind God's will.
VIVItheG: do you think god will help you
VIVItheG: how do you think so
VIVItheG: In what way
CWCSonichu: I just do.
VIVItheG: okay then
VIVItheG: come back to me in 3 years
VIVItheG: and tell me that alright.
CWCSonichu: why 3 years?
VIVItheG: because that is how long
VIVItheG: i believe you will realize
VIVItheG: that god is not going to help you
VIVItheG: in that amount of time
VIVItheG: you will be much worse off than you are now
VIVItheG: that is what i believe
CWCSonichu: what are you, an athiest?
CWCSonichu: what is that?
VIVItheG: my sect
VIVItheG: believes in principles
CWCSonichu: I see.
VIVItheG: of detachment from material goods
VIVItheG: the way of being able to live life through non-action
VIVItheG: which means that you should not do anything rash
VIVItheG: unless you wish your life to be a living hell
CWCSonichu: I see.
VIVItheG: the believe in that you should be an active person
CWCSonichu: I am
VIVItheG: and help others
CWCSonichu: I do
VIVItheG: and what is your problem with atheiests
CWCSonichu: I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus.
VIVItheG: so what?
VIVItheG: let them respect whatever they choose to believe in
VIVItheG: there are so many religions in this world
VIVItheG: okay but let's not talk about that
VIVItheG: i'm here to try to help you
VIVItheG: and i want you
VIVItheG: to seek some professional help
VIVItheG: god appears in abstract ways
VIVItheG: but i want you to seek some concrete help
VIVItheG: from another person
VIVItheG: i beg of you man
CWCSonichu: I will consider it.
VIVItheG: please don't just consider it, please do it.