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JenkinsJinkies

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Junior Jenkins, alias JenkinsJinkies (born 16 July 1995), was Chris's trollsona from May to August 2010.

CWCki

The great JenkinsJinkies.

JenkinsJinkies began as another CWCki account, made by Chris to confirm that the antenna he had removed from his PS3 wasn't a bug in "PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked", a bait-page made by Clyde. It was quickly discovered that JenkinsJinkies was Chris and the appropriate action was taken soon afterwards. Clyde contacted Chris through JenkinsJinkies' talk page and it resulted in a short correspondence between the two.

 
 
I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.
 

 

—JenkinsJinkies, the fourteen-year-old sodomite who had gay sex at the age of seven and lost his virginity to a high school student beforehand; who also lives directly across the street from Chris.

As JenkinsJinkies, Chris created the bizarre Coffee Place page, an article which originally started off as a reported sighting of Chris in Burger King but quickly devolved into a rant against Amanda, a part-time manager who seemingly irked Chris by not treating himself, Bob, and other "seinors" with the adequate respect Chris thought she should. How JenkinsJinkies was able to know all this information about Amanda after one visit and why he would care if she mistreated Bob or not was never to be explained by Chris.

Chris believed playing a troll who was legitimately afraid of Chris's wrath would totally convince Clyde Cash himself that he was legit. He also unsuccessfully tried to scare the trolls into thinking he was plotting to hunt them down, one by one. Several lesser trolls believed they were the first ones to realize that JenkinsJinkies was Chris and blew the whistle every now and again, but such leaks were uncommon and generally most trolls played along.

Trollin Train

As the trolls began to tug on JenkinsJinkies' marionette strings, a trolling forum entirely dedicated to making Chris paranoid was established. Despite all posts, members and threads being only a few days old, Chris was completely convinced that it was the official trolling hub, where all the nefarious plots made against him were conceived.

As if it weren't obvious enough that Junior Jenkins was Chris, he also went out of his way to praise Chris for his ingenious schemes for halting the trolls' wicked plans and/or dissuade the trolls from even trying - often combining the two themes into the same post.

 
 
I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.
 

 

—JuniorJenkins, Trollin Train

Junior Jenkins also had run-ins with the ghosts of Patti Chandler and seven-year-old Christopher Chandler, as Chris inexplicably believed that trolls would be frightened by these events. They were not and Jenkins was roundly mocked.

In another memorable event, Jenkins unsubtly asked for the numbers of the hookers Bryan Bash sent to Chris's house because Chris wanted sexy time.

PS3 Destruction

Trollin Train's most significant achievement came about when Surfshack Tito offered a number of "bounties" for achievements in trolling Chris, including a US$9,001 reward for anyone who could smash Chris's PS3. Due to a misinterpretation of Tito's criteria, Chris thought he could get the reward if he did the smashing and simply had Junior claim to witness it. The rest is history.

Though Chris did not receive the $9,001, he managed to raise the money to buy a new PS3 over the course of a few days.

The End

Chris decided to drop the JenkinsJinkies persona after his last post on TrollinTrain about witnessing Chris destroying his PS3. It was later revealed after the leaking of the Jackie Emails that Chris dropped the act in fear that when the police raided the Trollin Train forums they would mistake him for a troll and subsequently arrest him. Since it's now likely that Chris has completely forgotten about his time as JJ, the Trollin Train forum has became inactive and all information has been freely published to the CWCki.


See also