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DJ Jamsta

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Sonichu character
Jamster.jpg
DJ Jamsta
Date of birth 1986 (in universe)
Gender Male
Length 5'4" (163 cm)
Weight 120 lbs (54 kg)
Species Sonichu (Electric Hedgehog Pokémon)
Type Electric
Evolves from Sonee
 
 
"Hey guys, gals, duds [sic] and dudettes of all ages! We are rockin' hawt at Cwcville Beach for Spring Break '08! Y'all know me as Jamsta Sonichu, da DJ with da power!"
 

 

—DJ Jamsta, laying it down.

DJ Jamsta is a Sonichu DJ, and a host on KCWC radio station. His origins are unknown; Sonichu historians suspect he was plagiarized from a better comic. DJ Jamsta is known for using out-of-date slang and making sexist remarks towards women. Even by Sonichu standards he is particularly ridiculous-looking. He looks kind of like if the beginning sequence to Saved by the Bell fucked Sonic the Hedgehog.

One of the most notable traits Jamsta possesses is an odd lack of consistency in coloring across his body. It's also not entirely clear if his ears are just a different color than the rest of his fur, or if he just has a spectacularly terrible hat, or if he is perhaps suffering from male-pattern baldness. Of note, if they are his ears, then his earphones rest on the side of his head, far away from anywhere they would be of any use. It is also notable that Jamsta has a fan-shaped tail not seen in any other Sonichus. It is colored in three bars that match his shirt, but no part of his actual body.

Not cool

COOL DUDE!

Jamsta is a symbol of what Chris thinks is cool, which is why he is so very uncool. Chris uses some of DJ Jamsta's lines in his future message. Like Chris trying to act "with it", Jamsta sounds much more like a marketing executive parroting lines for credibility than an actual "cool" character, throwing (what Chris considers to be) trendy words into his speech without much logic.

Age

Along with Lolisa Rosechu, DJ Jamsta Sonichu is somehow inexplicably older than the "original" Sonichu; his age is shown as 21 at the end of episode 17 in Sonichu #8, while, near the start of Episode 18 (which is set months after Episode 17 occurred), Sonichu becomes 20 years old. This leaves a logical inconsistency: If Jamsta is older than Sonichu, wouldn't he name the species of Pokémon to which he and the rest of the male Hedgehogs belong?

Chris addresses this in a Mailbag:

 
 
"Yes, that is correct. Jamsta and Lolisa hatched somewhere private, and their species was not classified with the Professors until about 1990."
 

 

—--ChrisChanSonichu 00:33, 22 November 2009, Mailbag 2

Of course, Chris's explanation only created more questions. In fact, it makes even less sense than before. For example, it doesn't explain where Lolisa and Jamsta came from in the first place, how they met each other, or why is he running a radio station. Also, the implication that they were hatched together is somewhat problematic, and adds all manner of pseudo-incestuous undertones to their relationship. Of course, since all the characters seem to regard Chris as a father figure in some warped sense, that's pretty much par for the course.

The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate

I. Chris II. Bob Chandler III. Santa Clause IV. God V. Jesus

VI. The President of the U.S.: George W. BushBarack Obama

VII. All the World Leaders: Mahmoud AhmadinejadKim Jong-unManuel Noriega

VIII. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
Cole SmitheyDr. David Alan ChandlerJonathan CareyUncle Raymond
Joseph HerringJoshua MartinezMimmsLucasRobert Simmons VWilliam Elliott Waterman

IX. Celebrities: Jack BlackRed SkeltonDick Van DykeBob NewhartTim AllenJerry SeinfeldBrad GarrettLarry the Cable GuyPeter Cullen

X. Robots: Optimus PrimeMegatron

XI. Electric Hedgehog Pokémon: SonichuWild SonichuPunchy SonichuMagi-ChanBlakeDJ JamstaBlazeBob SonichuMitch SonichuDarkbind SonichuMetonic

XII. Hedgehogs: Sonic the HedgehogBionic the Hedgehog

XIII. Pornstars: Bailey Jay

The List Of Males Chris Does Hate

JERKS