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Chris's kitchen

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Only known photo, looking out the window.
La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova. Chris's kitchen, located on the second floor of now-vacant 14 Branchland Court, was a disgusting cesspool full of rotten food, dirty dishes, boxes of old crap, and no doubt a few gallons of autistic navy from many a sex chat. Chris has said that there was no room to make any sort of food, except for meals that could be heated up in the oven or microwave.

Chris's computer was located here, and he shot a few videos in this place, including various videos of him masturbating.

Items in Chris's kitchen

What normally goes on in the kitchen

The following items were present in Chris's kitchen:

  • Chris.
  • Christmas decorations (including a tree) that were left to stew year round and most likely had been there since the Chandlers moved in.
  • Various pots and pans.
  • Disposable fast food drink containers piled up on top of plates.
  • A mountain of presumably unwashed dishes and cookware covering almost half the window. The giant mound spilled out past the window and well around the corner of the bench. No space to prepare food was visible.
  • One perfectly cylindrical object emblazoned with a Mountain Dew label.
  • Plastic bags, some apparently still containing matter.
  • Two chairs or movable set of drawers, both covered in junk.
  • A potted plant sat atop the cupboard. Due to its healthy, uniform bright green color despite living in a trash heap on a high shelf with no access to sunlight or water, top men are certain it was fake.
  • Paper plates still smeared with some kind of off-yellow food were clearly visible sitting near the two fast-food drink containers atop a mountain of rubbish. Could be an overflowing bin.
  • A purple box of tissues right beside/behind the microwave in the far left corner.
  • Various knick-knacks on a small shelf obscure another part of the window; coupled with Mount Trash-heap, this almost completely obscured the window.
  • Enough junk to completely block off the door.
  • A Resident Evil (biohazard) fridge, where mold and yeast devoured everything that the Chandlers haven't.

List of videos filmed here

Presumably, almost all of Chris's IRC chats and webcam/VOIP conversations took place in the kitchen, save for a few that employed only his PS3. He has also ventured out of his room to record several videos in front of the computer in the kitchen.

  • 25 September 2008: the Chris Sex Videos. Chris performs various bizarre dances, strips and jerks off in front of a webcam for PandaHalo.
  • 3 November 2009: Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler. While the bulk of this video takes place in a LittleBigPlanet level, Chris recorded a brief preface in his kitchen.
  • 24 December 2009: the Shout out to Fans in Hospital. Chris expresses his sympathies for the ailing Columbine killers.
  • 31 December 2009: the Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp. Chris complains about the ads on his CWCipedia and wallows in the delusion that he has any control over the site.
  • 31 May 2010: 100 2189. Chris announces his abandonment of the CWCipedia while insisting that he still owns the rights to Sonichu.
  • 15 October 2010: 100 2281. Chris sips from a bottle of liqueur and gibbers at Jackie's boyfriend Lars in wigger dialect.
  • 18 October 2010: Breast Cancer Awareness. Chris stuffs his plush breasts under his shirt and discusses the dangers of breast cancer.
  • Late 2013: Tour of Chris's House II. Chris refers to the fridge as a "biohazard", and shows us that the kitchen is now completely blocked off by Barb's hoarded clutter. This implies that they are now entirely dependent on takeouts and/or microwaved meals for nutrition.
The places of Chris's life

Chris's homes: Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments | Surrywood Subdivision | Newberry Towne Subdivision | 14 Branchland Court (Chris's room | Chris's kitchen) | Rental House

Chris's education: Greene County Primary School | James Madison University | Providence Middle School | Nathanael Greene Elementary School | Manchester High School | Piedmont Virginia Community College (not to be confused with Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens)

Chris's churches: Grace Baptist Church | Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

Chris's jobs: Cutco Cutlery | Wendy's | Books-a-million | Toys “R” Us | The GAMe PLACe | C.W.C. Comics

Attraction locations: Piedmont Virginia Community College | University of Virginia | Charlottesville Fashion Square (Abercrombie & Fitch) (Chick-fil-A) (Pac Sun) (Starbucks) | Wal-Mart (McDonald's) | Target | The GAMe PLACe | Chris's room

Other places Chris visited: Anime Mid-Atlantic | Best Buy | Country Cookin | "Create-a-Crear Workshop" | Fridays After Five | GameStop | Golden Corral | McIntire Park | Taco Bell | Burger King | Snooky's Pawn Shop


Cities of the World: Albemarle County, VA | Charlottesville, VA | Clarksville, VA | Greene County, VA | Harrisonburg, VA | Midlothian, VA | Richmond, VA | Ruckersville, VA | Standardsville, VA

Countries of the World: Molvanîa | Virginia | Ohio | California


Map of Chris's World