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Chris Destroys His Vibrator

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"Chris Destroys His Vibrator" (officially "ECV 00050") is a video in which Chris explains why he had to make the two videos suggesting that he was gay, in order to satisfy an agreement with Clyde Cash. He then attempts to honor another agreement with Clyde by destroying his vibrator. Or rather, he tries to destroy his vibrator, fails, and simply takes it apart in a manner that would allow him to easily reassemble it.

Chris apparently doesn't seem to understand that if he were actually straight, he would've disposed of the dildo the moment he got it instead of storing it in his room.

It is implied in this video that Christian could not issue this retraction until "one man" emailed him to say he recognized the "super secret" clues in the previous videos. Apparently, if no one had solved the mystery Chris would have been forced to live as a homo forever.

Description

I am Striaght [sic], and it took a Forced Lie in the previous video to make that Perfectly Clear.

Video

Chris Destroys His Vibrator
Stardate 06 February 2009
Subject Matter HomosHomos Homos
Saga JulieJulie Julie, ClydeClyde Clyde Cash
Shirt Straight White LinesStraight White Lines Straight White Lines
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
Chris Comes Out of the Closet, Take 2
next
CWC Update 8 February 2009
 
 
I was lying out of my ass!
 

 

—Chris, who is definitely not a homo.

Transcript

[smacks camera]

Hello.

Y'all may—some of you may have seen the, uh, video, which—of which I recently up…lo—loaded… sayin’ that I was, uh… of the wrong… orientation. But any—but I w—I wanted to let y'all know that… I on—I did that… to save the life… of a trusted gal-pal. And she is eternally grateful from—to me for it. So, th—so, yes, as you can tell from my… non-verbal clues, I was lying out of my ass! But I did it to save a l—to save her life, 'cause… Clyde Cash… would've harmed her, but I have gotten his word that, uh, he would not lay a finger on her.

And also, I had to make another… slight promise—uh… another promise, after making that—after that: that I, uh, get rid of some… of my… unnecessary possessions. I wanted to let—I wanted to, uh, let him know, anyway, that I've already started. [reaches off-camera for something]

I destroyed… [drops it, picks it up, puts it back in his hand] this. [presents a disassembled vibrator]

[jump cut to Chris (apparently pre-disassembly) trying to snap the vibrator in half with his bare hands]

[jump cut to Chris really straining to break the vibrator]

[jump cut to Chris simply pulling the vibrator's two halves apart as they're designed to come apart]

[jump cut to Chris pulling the motor out of its half]

[jump cut to Chris holding the two halves in one hand]

Dun-dun-dunnn! [holds the pieces out like the Card Crusher before throwing them down]

The—that deed is done. I am straight. I am straight.

And it only—and it took me the, uh, one time… where I actually had to say the word… that I hated so much… for the first time in my life, ever. And then, later, it took… one man to, uh, send me an e-mail, lettin' me know that he realized the non-verbal clues… leading to—like, I was being forced to do that, and I had to lie out my ass.

Y'all can, uh, view the previously uploaded video… in its originality… [sniffles] and unaltered spec—in an unaltered—unaltered sense in my current Yah—YouTube account. But… I think I have proven myself well enough. I was holding onto my manhood—my straightness—by having Optimus Prime in my lap… [reaches off-camera for poster and holds it up] and my Sailor Moon poster behind me… that I look at every night to help keep me straight. [puts poster away]

I was born straight, and I will never be changed that way.

Thank you.

Fan videos

Christian Weston Chandler: Test your might!
Stardate 12 February 2009
Made By MajorIronwood
Video Type Remix
Other Info FINISH HIM!
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

See also

Chris Comes Out of the Closet Chris's videos CWC Update 8 February 2009
Videos for trolls

Clyde Cash: Plea to Clyde | Chris Comes Out of the Closet | Vibrator destruction video | The proof | BACK THE FUCK OFF | Secret Weapon | Take that Page DOWN NOW! | YouTube Finale | A CWC Audition | Chris Calls Clyde Out | Sign destruction video | Clyde Cash the kid video | Challenge for Clyde | Challenge for Clyde II | Chris loses it | War paint video | Response to Gregg | To Clyde Gregg | ClydeGoingOnGregg1 | Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!! | Clyde is Weaker than Water | Getting Foam Ed | I AM STRONG | Twin Falling Towers | It will never end | Apology for doing WTC | No More Jokes | To Clyde and Jack | Don't Mess With Me | I am Clyde Cash | Chris has no creativity | Chris "executes" Clyde

Other trolls: We're Being Watched | Naïve YouTubers | A near public apology | Rollin' and Trollin' | CWC Trollin More | It's UGH! | Chris humps his PS3 | THAT IS MY HOUSE | Forgiveness Blessings | Curse the Trolls | Ultimatum for Vivian | Chris dispels videogame rumors | To Clyde and Jack | Multiple challenge | Asperchu fury | Surfshack Tito | A message to the Trolls | Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! | Chris Drops the N-Bomb | I Pimp My Ride | Chris tells the trolls | Sonichu copyrights | Stardate, August 27, 2010 | ItIsFinished | Anti Troll Movement Video1 | Don't make the Grimace sad | I am Alec Benson Leary | Calling Out videos | Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

Clyde vs. Chris

Panda: Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008 | Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009 | Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009 | Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash

Julie: Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009 | Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009 | Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009

Ivy: Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009 | Take that Page DOWN NOW! | Secret Weapon | YouTube Finale | ACWCAudition | Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009

Chris vs Clyde: Clyde Cash the kid video | Challenge for Clyde | Challenge for Clyde II | Chris Loses It | 10242009 | To Clyde Gregg | ClydeGoingOnGregg1 | Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!! | Clyde is Weaker than Water | Getting Foam Ed | I AM STRONG | Twin Falling Towers | It will never end | To Clyde and Jack | DrainedCreativity

Performances: (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise | A CWC Audition | Don't Mess With Me | DivineTrial