The CWCki needs help! Please consider clicking the tugboat to make a donation
Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, Chris's hair is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.
Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a pedophile and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.
A popular theory amongst trolls proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the stress Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother Cole Smithey show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well, and Bob was bald as well. However, inactivity, poor diet, illness, and stress are well known to accelerate the balding process. In addition, there is a strong correlation between the man's age with the eventual extent of the baldness - when male-pattern baldness starts as early as it does with Chris, you will tend to end up with much less hair in the end; which does not bode well for Chris's tomgirl dreams.
In videos taken of Chris at a Fridays After Five event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.
Since becoming a Tomgirl, Chris has let his hair grow out and has seemingly attempted to color it blonde. This was likely not done by a professional stylist, because his new hair color is a hideous urine yellow. In some photos, such as the one he took at Salvation Army, the darker roots are visible through his extremely thin hair. It also appears that Chris's hair is naturally curly or wavy when he lets it grow long. Another possibility is that he curls his hair with a curling iron, although Chris is far too lax in his personal grooming for that type of styling regimen. An October 2012 Facebook profile picture revealed Chris has grown his hair shoulder length.
—Chris, thinking that a 1970s woman's hairstyle helps you get friends.
Pictures Chris has posted in 2014 show his hairline has receded even further, and his hair is at least as poorly managed as it was 3 years ago. The fact that he appears to have tried dying it blonde again only makes it look worse. Needless to say, his tomgirl persona is far from being as sexy as he thinks it is.
Cassie, co-founder of Sonichu Girls, asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.
Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady (or a dude pretending to be one), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.
Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.
Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7) did not cause any national or international incidents.
While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a Sonichu drawing, where the Spanish side has Sonichu in a sombrero.